BX 
84<?5 



^ ^ \ \ 




PEGGY DOW— Aged 33. 



Vicissitudes Exemplified ; 



OR THE 



JOURNEY OF LIFE. 



BY PEGGY DOW. 



A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband : but 
she that maketh ashamed is as rottenness in his bones. 
Phov. xii 4. 

Who can find a virtuous woman ? for her price is 
far above rubies. Prov. xxxi. 10. 

The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her* 
so that he shall have no need of spoil. Phov. xxxi. 11. 

She will do him good, and not evil, all the days of 
her life. Phov. xxxi. 12. 



NEW-YORK : 
FEINTED BY JOHN C. TOTTER 

No, 9 Bowery-Lane, 



1814, 



1 



1 * 



vicissitudes Exemplified, 



f WAS born in the year 1780; in Granville, 
J[ Massachusetts ; of parents that were stran- 
gers to God ; although my father was a member 
of the church of England ; and my mother had 
been raised by pious parents, of the Presby- 
terian order. But, whether she had any sense 
of the necessity of the new birth and holiness of 
heart I cannot say; for she was called to a 
0: world of spirits when I was but five months old > 
— leaving behind six children; two sons and 
four daughters. My eldest sister being about fif- 
teen years old — my father married in about six 
mouths after the death of my mother — and al- 
though the woman that he married was an in- 
dustrious good house wife, yet he lost his proper 
ty and was reduced very low, by the sinking oi. 
continental money ; and the children were scat- 
tered as a consequence. My eldest sister mar- 
ried when I was six years old — and she prevail- 
ed on my father to give me to her, which ac- 
cordingly he did : and I was carried into the 
state oiNeiv-York, and saw his face no more ! 

My tender heart was often wrought upon by 
the Spirit of God — and I was at times very un- 
happy, for fear I should die, and what would be- 
come of my soul ! I was early taught that there 
was a God, a heaven and hell ; and that there 
■,vas a preparation necessary to fit me for those 



Vicissitudes of Life, 



mansions of rest, prepared for those that are hap- 
py after death I My heart often mourned b^. 
fore God, young as I was, — for something 
scarcely knew what, to made me happy ! I dared 
not to sleep without praying to God, as well as 
I knew how, for many years. My sister's hus- 
band being a man not calculated to gain the 
world, although they had no children, I was 
raised to labour as much as my strength would 
permit ; and perhaps more, as my constitution 
was very delicate, from my birth. But the Lord 
was my helper, though I knew him not by an 
experimental knowledge — yet I had a fear of him 1 
before my eyes ! And He that taketh care of the - 
young ravens cared for me. — From the time that 
I was six years of age until I was eleven, my 
serious impressions never left me ; but from 
twelve to fifteen 1 was mixing with those that 
were unacquainted with God, or the things that 
pertain to the kingdom of heaven. My mind 
was taken up with the vanities of this present 
world — although, my heart was often tender un- 
der the preaching of the gospel ; so that I could 
weep, and mourn; yet I did not seek the Lord 
in earnest to the saving of my soul. At the age 
of fifteen, the Lord laid his rod upon me in tak- 
ing away my health, which was not restored un- 
til I was seventeen ; in that time I was much 
afraid I should die — but the Lord was pleased 
to restore me to health *gain in a good degree — 
and at the age of nineteen — I set out to seek 
my soufs salvation — through many trials and 
difficulties ! — The Methodists preaching and zeal 
were new, in that part of the country where I 



Vicissitudes of Life. 



5 



lived at that time ; and my sister's husband was 
\yery much opposed to them, so that it made my 
way very trying; but I was determined, come 
what might, that I would take up my cross, and 
follow Jesus,m the way — I was willing, and I 
did give up all my young companions — all the 
diversions of which I had been very fond; such 
as dancing, and company that feared not God — 
and the Lord who giveth liberally, and upbraid- 
eth not, gave me peace and consolation in him. — 
My sister and myself joined the first Society, that 
was raised in that part of the country ; at a 
neighbourhood called Fish-Creek; about four 
miles from where we lived ; where we attended 
preaching and class-meetings once every week. 
— And the Lord was very precious to my soul 
in thos days. 

About that time, my brother-in-law was 
brought to see himself a sinner, and embraced 
religion ; and we were a happy family, although 
but three in number; we often felt like heaven 
begun below, Jesus precious to our souls ! — The 
preachers made our house their home, at that 
time, and it was my delight to wait on them — I 
felt I could lie at their feet, and learn instruc- 
tions from their lips — but often thought I was un- 
worthy — my chief delight was in going to meet- 
ing, and praising and singing praises to my God 
and Saviour— we had preaching once in two 
weeks in our neighbourhood ; but few attended 
for nearly two years — yet the preachers contin- 
ued to preach, and that in faith, and the Lord 
heard and gave them their hearts' desire ! — They 
formed a little Class, consisting only of seven ; 
a 2 



6- 



Vicissitudes of Lift. 



my brother and sister, two other men and their 
wives, and myself, composed the society in the 
place where I lived — and we had class-meeting 
and prayer-meeting every week as the begin- 
ning — and it was but a few months before the 
Lord burst the cloud, and the work broke out; 
and sixty or seventy were added to the number. 
And we had precious times of the out-pouring of 
the Spirit of God ! If we met only for prayer- 
meeting, often times our meetings would last un- 
till twelve and one o'clock, and souls would be 
so filled with divine love, that they would fall pros- 
trate on the floor and praise Christ their King ! 
So we continued, to love like children of one 4 
family, for two or three years ; when some diffi- 
culties took place — However none were turned 
out of society — though it was a great grief to us 
all ! 1 how sweet it is for brethren to dwell 
together in unity — but how often doth the ene- 
my of mankind, make use of that most destruc- 
tive weapon, DIVISION ! to destroy the souls 
of the fallen race of Adam ! — that Christians 
would make a stand against him ; and live and 
love like children of one family ! — that the world 
Blight say — " See how these Christians love one 
anotlicr f" 

After this, I lived in love and union with my 
brethren for two years or more ; and enjoyed 
the privilege of preaching and class-meetings, 
and had many precious seasons to my .soul ! 

About this time, " Camp-Nectings" began to 
be introduced into our country ; and was attend- . 
ed with the power of God, m the conversion of 
many precious souls * 



Vicissitudes of Life, 7 

At this time, there was one about thirty miles 
from where I then lived ; and my brother-in-law 
attended it ; where he met with Lorenzo Dow, on 
his way to Canada ; and invited him home with 
him, and to preach at our preaching-house, and 
sent on the appointment a day or two before 
hand; so that the people might get notice. — 
And as he was a singular character, we were 
very anxious to see and hear him. The day 
arrived, he came, and the house was crowded ; — ■ 
and we had a good time ! I was very much 
afraid of him, as I had heard such strange things 
about him ! 

He was invited to our house, but did not 
come for several days. He had appointments 
to preach twice and thrice in the day. — Howev- 
er, at last he came, and tarried all night ; and 
the next morning he was to preach five or six 
miles off from where I lived — and little did I 
think that he had any thoughts of marrying, and 
in particular that he should make any proposi- 
tion of the kind to me ; but so it was, he return- 
ed that day, to dinner; aHd in conversation with 
my sister, concerning me; he inquired of her, 
How long I had professed religion ? She told 
him the length of time. He requested to know 
whether I kept wicked company ? She told him 
I did not ; and observed, that I had often said, 
* I had rather marry a Treacher, than any other 
man, provided I was worthy; and that I would 
wisli them to travel and be useful to souls — By 
this time I happened to come into the room— 
and he asked me if I had made any such re- 
marks 1 I told him I had • He then asked me if 



8 



Vicissitudes of Life. 



I would accept of such an object as him ? I 
made him no reply, but I went directly out of 
the room — as it was the first time he had spoken 
to me, 1 was very much surprised — He gave me 
to understand that he should return to our house 
again in a few days, and would have more con- 
versation with me on that subject, which he did, 
after attending a meeting ten or twelve miles 
from where J lived — he returned the next even- 
ing, and spoke to me of the subject again, when 
he told me that he would marry, provided he 
could find one that would consent to his travel- 
ling and preaching the gospel; and if I thought 
I could be willing to marry him, and give him 
up to go, and do his duty ; and not see him, per- 
haps, or have his company more than one month 
out of thirteen, he should feel free to give his 
hand to me ; but if I could not be willing to let 
him labour in the vineyard of his God, he dar- 
ed not to make any contract of the kind ; for he 
could not enjoy peace of mind in any other 
sphere — and that I must weigh the matter seri- 
ously before God, whether I could make such an 
engagement, and stand to it; and not stand in 
his way, and prevent his usefulness to souls ! — I 
thought I would rather marry a man that loved 
and feared God, and that would strive to pro- 
mote virtue, and religion among his fellow mor- 
tals, than any other — although I felt myself in- 
adequate to the task, without the grace of God, 
to support me ! Yet, I felt willing to cast my lot 
with his ; and be a help, and not a hindrance to 
him, if the Lord would give me grace; and as I 
had no douftt bat he would, if I stood as I ought. 



Vicissitudes of Life. 



— and I accepted of his proposal — He was then 
on his way to Canada, and from thence to the 
Missisippi Territory ; and did not expect to re- 
turn in much less than two years ; and then if 
Providence spared, and the way should open for 
a union of that kind, ivlien he returned, we would 
be married! But would strive in that case, as 
well as in all others of such importance to lay it 
before the Lord : and be directed by him, as far 
as we could judge ! And not rush precipitately 
into a state, that so much concerned our happi- 
nese in this world, and the next — as I doubt not, 
many engage in the holy banc's of matri- 
mony, without once considering its importance, 
and the obligations, they lay them»elves under 
to each other, to do all in their power, to make 
the silken cord not prove a chain of iron ! 

He left me, and went on his way, to preach 
the gospel through Canada, and from thence to 
the South, and was gone for near two years, be- 
fore he returned; he left an appointment for a 
Camp-Meeting in conjunction with some of the 
preachers, on his return, which he fulfilled; and 
on September the fourth, we were joined in the 
holy bands of Matrimony, late in the evening.— 
There was not any present, but the family and 
the preacher, who performed the ceremony ! — 
Early in the morning he started for the Missisip- 
pi Territory ; in company with my brother-in- 
law, who intended to remove to that country if 
he should like it. 

I expected to continue to live with my sister, 
as she had no children — and was much attached 
to me, or seemed to be so at that time ; — but the 



10 



Vicissitudes of Life. 



Lore! ordered it otherwise. My Lorenzo was 
gone about seven months, before he returned to 
me. My brother-in-law was pleased with the 
, country, and intended to return to it with his 
family, in a few months. My husband was pre- 
paring to go to Europe, in the fall. — He return- 
ed, and stayed with me about two weeks : and 
then started for Canada, and left me with my 
sister : — They were preparing to remove to the 
Missisippi in July ; this was in May ; and my 
Lorenzo was to meet them in the Western coun- 
try, w r here they were to carry me; and from 
thence we would go to New-York and they con- 
tinue on their journey to the Missisippi Territo- 
tory : But he went on as far as Vermont, and 
held a number of meetings, where he saw his 
sisters that lived there ; and then feeling an im- 
pulse to return to Western where I then was, he 
gave up the intended tour through Canada, and 
came back, prepared to take me to New- York 
City, where he intended to embark for Europe. 

We stayed a few weeks in Western, until my 
brother-in-law got his temporal concerns settled; 
and then, after bidding my friends and brethren 
in the Lord, farewell ! we set off for New- York — 
attended by my sister, who went the same road 
we were going;, eighteen or twenty miles—where 
Lorenzo held several meetings — and stayed two 
or three days together ; and then bid each other 
farewell, expecting to meet again in eighteen 
months or two years : but the providence of God 
did not favour this, or the interference of the ene- 
my of mankind prevented. For we never met 
again ; and could I have foreseen what awaited 



Vicissitudes of Life. 



11 



my unfortunate sister in the country to which 
she was bound, the parting would have been 
doubly distressing. But it is happy for us that 
we do not know what is in futurity, as the great 
Master knoweth best how to prepare our minds 
for greater tribulation ; while we travel through 
this world of woe! Our parting was truly sor- 
rowful and afflicting, but it was light when com- 
pared to what followed ! 

W e left Westmoreland, and went down to Al- 
bany^ where my Lorenzo had some acquaintan- 
ces, and stayed for several days — at the house 
,of Mr. Taylor, and was treated like we were 
their children. 

Now my sphere of life was altered. It was 
(he first time I had been so far from home with 
out my sister; she was as a mother to me, as I 
knew no other. My heart often trembled at 
what was before me, to be continually among 
strangers, a-nd not much acquainted with the 
ways of the world, it made me feel like one at 
a loss, how to behave, or what to do. 

My Lorenzo was very affectionate and atten- 
tive to me — he left me at Albany with sister 
Taylor, who was going down to New- York iu a 
sloop ; as I was very mach fatigued by riding on 
horseback — he thought it best for me, to go 
down with her, by water ; while he went by 
land, rode one horse, and led the other. He ar- 
rived in New- York perhaps four and twenty 
hours before me. I went on board, for the first 
time *h'i< I ever was on the water, except te 
cross a ferry. 
It made me something gloomy to be on botfid 



Vicissitudes of Life. 



the vessel among strangers while going down the 
river to the city of New- York, as I had never 
been in such a place before. However, we 
landed about ten o'clock at night, where I met 
Lorenzo, who had been on the look out for some 
time. We went to a friend's house, that had 
been very kind to him in days past, who then 
belonged to the Methodist church. I felt much 
embarrassed, as I had never been in such a place 
before. We stayed in New-York several weeks, 
and had some precious meetings ; here I became 
acquainted with some kind friends; who were to 
me like mothers and sisters ; whilst Lorenzo left 
me and went to fulfil some appointments he had 
made in Virginia, North-Carolina, and expect- 
ing only to be gone five or six weeks; but was 
detained contrary to his expectation, near three 
months. In that time the fever that was common 
in the city of New- York, broke out, and I went 
with Mrs. Quackenbusk to the country ; about 
forty miles up the river to a bFother Willson's, 
where she carried her children to go to school ; 
here I stayed several weeks. They were peo- 
ple of a handsome property ; but the more we 
have the more. we want; as has been observed 
by many — And I think it will hold good almost 
without exception: for they were as much en- 
gaged to gain property, as if they had only bread 
from hand to mouth. I was a stranger, and ma- 
ny times I felt like I was lost, but the Lord gave 
me support, so that I was tolerable cheerful in 
the absense of my companion ! Before he return- 
ed, I went back to New-York, where 1 stayed 
until he came ; and prepared tp ml for Europe. 



Vicissitudes of Life* 



13 



which was some time in November. We ob- 
tained a protection from our government, when 
leaving the country for England. It was neces- 
sary to have witnesses to prove that he was the 
Lorenzo Dow that was identified and intended 
in the documents, which he had obtained from 
the United States of America. Consequently 
he got N. S. and. J. Q. to go before a Notary 
Public, and certify that he was the same Loren- 
zo Dow referred to in the documents, Mr. N. 
S. gave in under oath, that " he knew him from 
his youth, * * * * * 

holy gospel !" And about the same time he 
wrote letters to Ireland and England, to make 
his way narrow in those countries. And no 
thanks to him that it did not bring Lorenzo in- 
to the greatest distress and difficulties ,that a 
man could have been brought into! But through 
the mercy of God it was otherwise overruled ! 

He gave me my choice, to go with him or stay 
with friends in America, as there were many that 
told us, I might stay with them, and be as wel- 
come a3 their children; and strove to prevent 
my going to a land where I would find many dif- 
ficulties and dangers to encounter, that I wa3 
unacquainted with, and could not foresee. But 
I chose to go, and take my lot and share with 
him, of what ever might befall us. Consequent- 
ly, on the 10th of November, 1305, we set sail 
from New- York, for Liverpool, in Old England. 
We embarked about 10 o'clock, with a fine 
breeze They spread their canvass, and were 
shortly under way* 



Vicissitudes of Life. 



Lorenzo came into the cabin, and told me to 
go on deck, and bid farewell to my native land ! 
I did so; and the city began to disappear! I 
could discover the houses to grow smaller and 
smaller; and at last could see nothing but the 
chimneys and the tops of the houses ; then all 
disappeared but the mast of vessels in the har- 
bour. In a short time, nothiug remained, but a 
boundless ocean opening to view; and I had to 
depend upon nothing but the Providence of God ! 
I went down into the cabin, and thought perhaps 
I should see myoative land no more ! 

The vessel being tossed to and from on the 
waves, I began to feel very sick; and to re- 
flect, I was bound to a foreign land; and, sup- 
posing I should reach that country, I knew not 
what awaited me there, but this was my com- 
fort, the same God presided in England that did 
in America! — I thought if I might find one real 
female friend, I would be satisfied. 

I continued to be sea-sick for near two weeks, 
and then recovered my health better than 1 had 
enjoyed it in my lite before. 

We were twenty-seven days out of sight of 
land. The vessel was in a very bad situation, 
as we had not been at sea more than five or six 
days, before the rudder began to fail; so they 
could not have commanded her at all, if the 
wind had been unfavourable. The weather was 
vei-y rough and stormy; but through the mercy 
of God, the wind was favourable to our course, 
so that we reached safe our place of destination. 

When we arrived in the river at Liverpool, 
•we were not permitted to land, until they could 



Vieissihules of Life. 



15 



send up to London, and get returns from there; 
as our vessel came from a port subject to 
the yellow fever; on that account, we were ob- 
liged to stay in the river, for ten days, before 
we were permitted to come on shore. 

I never saw a woman for thirty-seven days, 
except one, who came along side our vessel, to 
bespeak the Captain as a boarder at her house, 
when he should come on shore. 

I strove to pray much to God to give us favor 
in the eyes of the people, and open the way for 
Lorenzo, to do the errand that he came upon ; 
and to give him success in preaching the gospel 
to poor sinners ! The prospect was often 
gloomy ! Lorenzo used to say to me, Keep up- 
your spirits — we shall yet see good days in Old 
England, before we leave it ! — as the sequel 
proved! 

We went on shore the twenty-fourth or fifth 
of December. Lorenzo had a number of letters 
to people in Liverpool. Some were letters of 
recommendation ; others, to persons from their 
friends in America. 

We went with the master of the vessel to a 
boarding house, where I was left until Lorenzo 
went to see what the prospect might be, and 
whether he could meet with any that would 
open the way for him to get access to the peo- 
people. After giving out all the letters but one, 
he returned to me: having been two or three 
hours absent without any success ; as none had 
given him an invitation to stop at their houses 
for to stay that night. 

The house that I tarried at, was a boardings 



16 Vicissitudes of Life. 



house, for American captains ; and the women 
that were there, were wicked enough ! — My 
heart was much pained to hear my own sex tak- 
ing the name of their Maker and preserver, in 
rain ! O ! thought I, shall I never meet again, 
with any, that love and fear God? — Lorenzo in- 
tended to go and find the person that the last 
letter was directed to, and told me I might eith- 
er stay there or go with him. I chose to go with 
him, rather than be left with them any longer. — 
It was almost night, and we had not much to de- 
pend upon, without the openings of Providence. 
We started, but could not find the person for 
some time. However, at last, as we were 
walking, Lorenzo looked up to the corner, and 
happened to espy the name that he was after ; 
accordingly we went up to the door, and gave a 
rap, and were admitted. He delivered the let- 
ter. There was a woman from Dublin, who 
seeing that we were strangers and foreigners, 
began to enquire of Lorenzo, for some persons 
in America; and shortly after this, she asked 
him, if he had ever heard of a man by the name 
of Lorenzo Dow ? Not knowing that any one in 
that country could have any knowledge of him, 
it was very surprising to me. He told her, that 
was his name, and she w r as as much surprised in 
her turn. She had seen him in Ireland, w hen 
he was there some years before ; but did not 
know him now, as he had had the small pox af- 
ter she had seen him, which had made a great 
alteration in his appearance. 

The man of the house invited us to tarry all 
sight, but the woman made some objections! — 



Vicissitudes of Life* 17 

They were friends, (quakers) and told us, there 
was a quaker lady just across the street that 
kept a boarding-house, where we could be ac- 
accommodated with lodgings for the night. And 
as it was then something late in the evening, 
the man conducted us thither, where w T e obtain- 
ed permission to stay. 

As Lorenzo had but little to depend upon but 
the openings of Providence, — he intended to go 
to Ireland, and take me to his friends, and leave 
me there; as he had wrote to that country and 
had returns from his old friend, Doctor John- 
son, with an invitation for him to bring me ; 
and that I should have a home at his house, as 
long as we chose, whilst he pursued his travels 
through Ireland and England ! Lorenzo went 
and procured a passage across the channel, in a 
packet to Dublin ; but did not sail for several 
days. So we had to stay in Liverpool for some 
time. Our board was more than two guineas a 
week, which was bringing Lorenzo very short as 
to money ! At last we got on board of the pack- 
et, with our little baggage, and some provisions 
for the voyage ; but the wind proved unfavora- 
ble, and we were driven back into the port of 
Liverpool again ; and that was the case for no 
less than than five times running. 

Before this, our friend that we met at th<5 
quakers, had introduced us to a family of people 
who were Methodists, where the woman was a 
very affecaonate/mwd; which opened the door 
for acquaintance, and had been had there several 
times ! 

Our landlady that we were boarding witlx 
b 2 



13 



Yicissitudes pfLifc. 



told us we could not stay with her any longer, so 
we must go elsewhere, as her house was full. 

The last time we went on board of the pack- 
et, and put to sea, we had not been out more 
than two or three hours, before the wind blew a 
gale ; and it was so dark that they could not see 
their hand before them on deck ; and we knew 
not how shortly we might be cast on rocks or 
sand banks, and ail sent to eternity. There 
were some on board, who before the storm came 
up, had been very profane in taking the name of 
their Maker in vain ; but when they saw and 
felt the danger that they were in, they were as 
much alarmed as any persons could be! 

I could not but wonder that people would or 
could be so careless and secure whilst they saw 
no danger, but when the waves began to roil, 
and ship began to toss to and fro, they #ere 
struck with astonishment and horror ! 

My husband and myself lay still in the birth, 
and strove to put our trust in that? hand that 
could calm the roaring seas ; and I felt measura- 
bly composed — at day-light, the captain made 
for the port of Liverpool again, and about eight 
or nine o'clook in the morning, we came into the 
dock; but as we were coming in, under full sail, 
and a strong tide, there was a large ship, of the 
African trade, that was lying at anchor in the 
harbour; we ran foul of her, but through mercy 
was preserved from much harm ! 

The weather was very rainy, the streets were 
very muddy, and I had walked through the mud 
for a considerable distance; the prospect v>:i 
very gloomy* but my Lorenzo cheered my spi- 



Vicissitudes of Life* 



19 



rite, by telling me, The Lord would provide 
which I found to be true ! 

We went to Mr. Forsliaitfs, the people thai 
we were introduced to, by the friend that we saw 
at the quakers the first night we were in Liver 
pool ; when my good friend, Mrs. Forshaiv, now 
saw me returning, she was touched with pity for 
me, as I was very muddy and fatigued! She told 
Lorenzo he had better leave me with her, whilst 
lie travelled through the country, until the wea- 
ther was better ; and then take me over to Ire- 
land in the spring — which invitation we were 
very thankful for ! O how the Lord provided 
for me in a strange land ! where I had not any 
thing to depend upon but Providence ! 

My Lorenzo left me at her house, and pro- 
ceeded up to London ; where he was gone about 
two weeks ; but previous to this, the Lord had 
opened his way : so that he had held a number 
©f meetings in Liverpool, and one woman had 
been brought to see herself a sinner, and seel 
the salvation of her soul. 

I was at this time in a state of* * * * * * * * *, 
and my mind somewhat depressed ; but the 
Lord gave me favour in the eyes of the people, 
and they were very kind to me ; while he was 
gone. I attended class-meetings and preaching, 
which was very refreshing to me. I felt to bless 
God, that I had found the same religion in that 
country, as I had experienced in my own native 
land. I was sometimes very much distressed 
in mind, for fear my husband should die, and \ 
be left in a strange land ; but he returned to 
me in (he time he had appointed; and had sev- 



Vicissitudes of Life, 



cral invitations to other parts of the country, to 
hold meetings, which he accepted. 

I left Liverpool with him, tor Warington ; 
where he had been invited, by a man that came 
to Liverpool on business: who not knowing 
there was such a person as Lorenzo in the coun- 
try; but feeling, after he done his business, 
like he wanted to go to a meeting, and wan- 
dered about for some time, when he at last went 
into a a meeting house that belonged to the 
people called KiUutmites, where Lorenzo had 
been jnvited to preach, and found a congrega- 
tion assembled to hear preaching; and alter he 
had done, as the people were very solemn 
and attentive, and many was much wrought 
upon, this man invited Lorenzo to go to War- 
rington, where there was a little society of peo- 
ple, called quaker-methodists; and the meeting- 
house should be opened to him. He did so, and 
found them a very pious people. We stayed 
there for several weeks, and he held meetings 
two and three times in the day ; while the Lord 
began a good work in that place, and many were 

brought to rejoice in the Lord ! Peter Philips, 

the man that invited Lorenzo there, and his 
wife, were very friendly to us, and their house 
was our home ever after, when we were in War- 
rington. 

A widow lady who lived there, had three 
daughters, one of whom lived in London, and 
the other with her. She came out to hear Lo- 
renzo preach ; and one day after meeting, she 
carne to Peter Philips, to see us, and was very 
friendly. Loren^ asked her if she had any 



Vicissitudes of Life. 21 

children? She told him, she had three; and 
that two were with her- He inquired if they 
professed religion ? She told him that one of 
them had made a profession, hut she had lost it, 
she was fearful ; but that the youngest never 
had. He requested her to tell them to come 
and see him ; but the mother insisted that he 
should come and see them ; and then he could 
have an opportunity to converse with them at 
home ; he did so ; and they both became very 
serious, and came to his meetings. And al- 
though they had been very gay young women, 
they would come up to be prayed for in the pub- 
lic congregation; the result was, they both got 
religion; and the youngest has since died happy 
in the Lord. — The eldest came down from Lon- 
don on a visit to her mother's, where my Loren- 
»o saw her, and he was made an instrument in 
the hand of God, of her conversion to God. — 
She was one of the most affectionate girls I ever 
saw ! 

We stayed in and about Warington until 
May, in which time, Lorenzo had openings to 
preach in different places, more than he could 
attend ; and the Lord blessed his labours abun- 
dantly to precious souls ! 

In May we returned to Liverpool, and pre- 
pared to cross the channel to Ireland ; we had 
n very pleasant passage, and arrived in safety, 
where we found our kind friend, Doctor John- 
son and his family well; and was received with 
affection, by many. The preachers that were 
in Dublin, were very friendly, and I felt muck 
mmi to them. We were invited to breakfast* 




22 Vicissitudes of t Life. 

dine, and sup, almost every day. But my site, h 
ation being a delicate one, it made it somewhat L 
# * * # * to me ! The friends were as 
attentive to me as I could have wished ; for 
Which may the Lord fill my heart with gratitude. 

Lorenzo stayed with me for some time, and 
then went into the country, where he held ma- 
ny meetings, and the Lord was with him. Af- 
ter which he returned to Dublin^ and wiih the 
Doctor, he returned to Ewdand. I staid with 
Mrs. Johnson until his return, where I expected 
to continue until I should set through my ap- 
proaching conflict, if it was the will of the Lord 
to bring me through. I felt in tolerable good 
spirits; and although! was many hundred miles 
from my native land, yet the Lord gave me fa- 
vour in the eyes of the people. — My wants were 
supplied, as it related to my present situation, 
abundantly ! 

Lorenzo stayed in England for six or eight 
weeks, and then returned to me to be with :ne 
in my approaching coiiflict. — He was very weak 
in body; but continued to preach two and three 
times in the day. He got some books ^riiited, 
which enabled him to prosecute his travels thro' 
the countries of Ireland and England; 

Whilst he was absent, a woman had spoken to 
a Doctor to attend me, when I should want him, 
Urtiich was not agreeable to my Lorenzo. But 
having ^one so far, it was thought by those that 
employed him, that it was best not to employ 
anv other; and I being unacquainted with the 
manners and customs of the country, was pas- 
sive; my Lorenzo was much hurt, but I was not 



Vicissitudes of Life. 23 



sensible of it, as much before as after; if I had, 
I should not have suffered it to have been so ; 
but we often are mistaken in what will be best 
for us. 

The time arrived that I must pass through the 
trial, and my Lorenzo was at the Doctor's; but 
those that attended on me w ould not suffer him 
to come into the room, where I was ; which gave 
him much pain. I did not at that time know 
how much he was hurt — but after my child was 
born, which was on the 16th of September, be- 
tween three and four o'clock, he was permitted to 
come in, and he had a w hite handkerchief on 
his head, and his face was as white as the hand- 
kerchief. He came to the bed, and took the 
child, observing to me, that we had got an ad- 
ditional charge — which if spared to us, would 
prove a blessing, or else one of the greatest tri- 
als that possibly we could have to meet with.— 
I expect Lorenzo passed through as great a con- 
flict in his mind, as he Sfed almost ever met with I 
The Lord was my support at that time, and 
brought me safely through. — The friends were 
very kind to me ; and supplied my wants with 
every thing that w r as needful ; and in about two 
weeks I was able to leave my room : my heart 
was gladi w hen I viewed my little daughter.— 
She was a sweet infant. But tUiow short-lived 
are earthly joys! We stayed in Dublin until 
she was rive weeks old ; and then my Lorenzo 
wiih myself and oar little one, embarked on 
board a packet for Liverpool! — The, weather 
was rainy, and tolerable cold; there was no fire 
in the cabin. There was a number of passen- 



2* 



Vicissitudes of Lift. 



gers, who thought themselves rather above the 
middle class, men and women who were civil to 
ns: but I was so much afraid that ray little in- 
fant would be too much exposed, that I neglect- 
ed myself, and probably took cold — were two 
nights and one day on board the packet. — We 
got into Liverpool about ten or eleven o'clock, 
where I was met by my good friend, Mrs. For- 
shaw ; and went to her house, where we stayed 
a-day or two; and then took the stage for War- 
ington, about eighteen miles from Liverpool, 
where we arrived on Sunday morning. Our 
friends, Peter Philips and his wife, were at 
meeting — Lorenzo went to the chapel, the peo- 
ple were very much rejoiced to see him. They 
had been concerned for us, as they had not heard 
from us, for some time. The friends from the 
country, many of whom came to see us, while 
l-rfOrenzo na d meetings in town and country, two 
and three times in the day ; and the Lord was 
present to hea! mourning souls. 

Doctor Johnson came with us from Ireland. — 
He was much engaged in helping to bring souls 
to the knowledge of the truth ; and was, I trust, 
made an instrument of good to many ! — Lorenzo 
and the Doctor travelled in to various places in 
Lancashire and Cheshire with some other coun- 
ties, and many were brought to see themselves 
sinners, and seek their soul's salvation. 

The oeonle in that country seemed to feel 
much forme; and manifested it by numberless 
act of kindness. For, instead of having to sell 
my gown for bread, as Lorenzo told me I might 
have to do, when we were in America, there was 



Vicissitudes of Life. 



2o 



scarcely a day bat I had presents of clothing or 
money, to supply myself with what ever I need- 
ed. O how grateful ought I to be to my great 
Benefactor, for all his mercies to unworthy me ! 

My little " Letitia Johnson" for so was my 
child called, grew ; and was a very fine, attract- 
ing little thing; I found my heart was too much 
set upon it, so that I often feared I should love 
her too well ; but strove to give myself and all 
that I had to my God ! 

My Lorenzo was in a very bad state of health, 
which alarmed me very much. I often cried to 
the Lord to take my child or my health, but 
spare my dear husband ! — The thought was so 
painful to me, to be left in a strange land, — with 
a child, so far from my native soil ! — The Lord 
took me at my word, and laid his afflicting hand 
upon me. 

My Lorenzo and the Doctor went to Maccles- 
field, and expected to be gone about a week- 
arid left me at Peter Philip's, where I was taken 
sick, the day they started, with the nervous fe^ 
ver — but kept up, and nursed my child, until 
two or three days before they returned. — I tho't 
I had taken a very severe cold, and should be 
better ; but grew worse every day. 

The friends were very kind to me, particular- 
ly Mary Barford a young lady of fortune, who 
had got religion through the instrumentality of 
Lorenzo. She attended me two and three times 
a-day. After I got so as not to be able to sit up, 
she hired a girl to take care of my child. My 
fever increased very fast, and the night before 
Lorenzo got to Warington, I thought I was dy- 
c 



c Zv Vicissitudes of Life, 

ing, and those that were about me were very 
much alarmed, and sent for a doctor; he came, 
and administered something to me. He said I 
was not dying, bu» that I was very sick ! The 
next morning doctor Johnson and Lorenzo came; 
they found me in bed. The doctor thought 
perhaps I had taken cold, and it would wear off 
after giving me something to promote a copious 
sweat; but when he found that the fever con- 
tinued to rise, he told us to prepare for the 
worst — for it was a nervous fever, and that it 
was probable it would carry me to a world of 
spirits. 

I had continued to nurse my child for more 

than one week after I was taken sick, which was 
very injurious to her; the Doctor forbid my 
suckling her any longer, which gave me much 
pam ; they were obliged to take her from me, 
and feed her with a bottle. My fever increased, 
and rose to such a height, that it was thought I 
could not survive many days ! The Doctor 
stayed with me, and payed every attention in 
his power, for twenty days and nights. Loren- 
zo was net undressed, to go to bed, for near three 
weeks; nor the Doctor for nearly the same 
length of time. 

My kind friends gave me every assistance in 
their power; they came from the country, for 
many miles distant, to see if we were in want 
of any thing that they could help us to. May 
the Lord reward them for their kindness to me, 
in the day of adversity. Our dear friend, Mary 
Barford, used to come every day, two or three 
times, to see me and administer to my necessi 



Vicissitudes of Life. 



27 



ties ; and many others came also. She was a 
precious girl, and although she had been raised 
in the first circle, would go into the houses of 
the poor, and supply their wants, and nurse and 
do for them like she had been a servant. Altho' 
Lorenzo was so broke of his rest, and fatigued 
by night ; yet he held some meetings almost ev- 
ery day ; some of which were a considerable dis- 
tance from town ; and as he was weak in bo- 
dy our young friend M. B. frequently hired a 
hack, to convey him to his appointments and 
back, so that he was with me the greatest part 
of the time, 

I was very much reduced, so that I was al- 
most as helpless as an infant. 

There was a chair- maker's shop adjoining the 
house, and the room that I was confined in^- be- 
ing most contiguous, the noise of the shop to- 
gether with that of the town, w as very distres- 
sing to me — likewise the family was large, and 
the house small, so that it was very uncomforta- 
ble. We were under the necessity to have 
some persom to sit up with me every night, for 
my fever raged to that degree I wanted drink 
almost every moment ! The light was not ex- 
tinguished in my room for six or eight weeks.— 
My poor child was very fretful, the girl that 
nursed it would get to sleep and let it cry, this 
distressed my mind ; and it was thought best by 
my friends to get some person to take it to the 
country, to be nursed there. 

To be separated from my child, wa3 very 
painful to me; but as my life was despaired of 
by my friends ; and as 1 myself had not much 



is 



Vicissitudes of Life. 



expectation that I should recover, I strove to 
give it up, knowing it would be best for the 
chiid a iui for rae also. 

There was a woman from Cheshire, who liv- 
ed about ten miles distant from Warington, that 
had no children; she came to see me, and offer- 
ed to take my baby and nurse it, until I should 
die, or get better — which was agreed to; so 
they made ready and she took it ! But O the 
heart-rending sorrow that I felt on the separa- 
tion with my helpless little infant! Language 
cannot paint it ; but the Lord was my support in 
that trying hour; so that I was enabled to bear 
it with some degree of fortitude ! I was anx- 
ious to get well and return to America ; but lit- 
tle did I know what awaited me on my native 
shore! My disorder affected my mind very 
much ; likewise I was very desirous to see my 
sister that raised me, once more in time ; she 
was as near to me as a mother. We had heard 
flint they had arrived safe at the Missisippi ter- 
ritory, and was like to do well. 

At times I was very happy ; and then at oth- 
er times my mind was very gloomy, and sunk, 
as it were — the Doctor said that he never saw 
any one's nerves so affected, that did not die, or 
quite loose their reason for a time — but I retain- 
ed my senses and recollection as well as ever* 
although, it seemed that I scarce slept at all ! 

As I was so surrounded with noise, the Doctor 
thought it would be better for me to be removed 
to a friend's house in the country, who lived 
about four miles from where I was. According- 
ly they hired a long coach, and put a bed in it 



Vicissitudes of Life. 



?9 



and then a man took me in his arms, and put me 
in ; and the Doctor and Lorenzo got into the 
coach with me, and carried me four miles into 
the country, to a friend's house, where I ha^d ev- 
ery attention paid me that I could wish for : and 
from that time I began to mend and recover — 
This was about Christmas. 

My Lorenzo felt a desire to visit Ireland once 
more before he returned to America ; and he 
wished to make arrangements to return in the 
spring ; and if lie did not go to Ireland in a short 
time, he could not go at all : I was at that time 
so low, that I could not setup, or assist myself 
so much as to get a drink of water — -and it was 
doubtful whether I should recover again or not. 

He told me what he felt a desire to do, but ad- 
ded, that he would not go unless I felt quite 
willing. I told him, the same merciful God 
presided over us, when separated, as when we 
were together, and that he would provide for 
me, as he had done in a strange land, through 
my present illness ; and wished him to go and 
do his duty ! Accordingly he hired a young 
woman to come and stay with me night and 
day. 

He had to preach at a place about two miles 
from where I was, at night ; and told me, per- 
haps he should not return that night ; and if he 
did not, he should not return to see me again, be- 
fore he left that part, for Ireland; however, I 
thought he would return to me again before he 
left England — but he to save me the pain of 
parting, did not return, as I had expected, but 
took the coach for Cluster, and so on to Holly- 
.e 2 



30 Vicissitudes of Life. 



head in Wales, there to embark for Dublin ; and 
left the Doctor to stay with me, until nis return, 
which he did; and was as a father and friend to 
me in his absence. 

Although I felt willing for him to go and blow 
the gospel trumpet, yet my heart shrunk at the 
thought of being left in a strange land, in my pre- 
sent situation, so weak that I could not put on 
my clothes without help; and my sweet little 
babe at a considerable distance from me, and 
amongst strangers. But the Lord was my sup- 
port, and gave me strength to be, in some con- 
siderable degree, resigned to the will of God ! 

Lorenzo went on the outside of the coach, ex- 
posed to the inclement weather, and to the rude 
insults of the passengers, until he got to Holy- 
head, where he went on board a packet for Dub- 
lin, when he was both wet and cold — and was 
for four and twenty hours without food ; but 
when he got to Mrs. Johnson's, he found her, as 
ever, a friend indeed; where he stayed until he 
got recruited ; and then commenced his travels, 
whilst I was left behind, to encounter the most 
trying scene that I had ever met with. 

My strength gradually increased, so that I 
was in a few weeks able to sit up and to walk 
about the room. The people that I was with, 
were as kind and attentive as they could be — 
may the Lord reward them. But the Doctor 
thought it would be best for me to go to another 
neighbourhood, as a change of air and new ob- 
jects might contribute to my health — and I 
should be nearer my child, which was a pleas- 
ing thought to me. We got into a carriage, and 



Vicissitudes of Life. Si 

went to a friend's house, eight or ten miles, 
where I had been invited and sent for; we stay- 
ed a Aveek or more, and then we went to another 
place, within two miles of my child, which I ex- 
pected to see and clasp to my bosom ! O how 
short-lived are all earthly enjoyments ! I did 
see my sweet little babe once more — the woman 
that had her, brought her to see me; my heart 
leaped with joy at the sight. The innocent 
smile that adorned her face ! O how pleasing — I 
wished very much to keep her, but the Doctor 
would not consent that I should undertake to 
nurse her. He said, I had not recovered my 
strength sufficient to go through the fatigue of 
nursing. But he that gave it, provided for it, 
better than I could; he saw it best to transplant 
it in a happier soil than this; for in two or three 
days, the flower that began to bloom, was nipt 
by the cold hand of death, after a short illness of 
perhaps two or three days ; my tender babe was 
a lifeless lump of clay, and her happy spirit 
landed on the peaceful shore of blest eter- 
nity. 

They kept me in ignorance of her sickness, 
until she was dead. I could not tell why my 
mind was so much distressed on the account of 
my child. I inquired of every one that I could 
see from where she was; but they would not tell 
me of her danger, until she was dead. I wa# 
then about four miles from her, where I had 
gone the day that she died — a kind sister walk- 
ed that distance to let me know that my little 
Lettitia was no more; lest some one should too 
abrabtly communicate the heavy tidings ; as my 



32 



Vicissitudes of Life* 



health was not yet restored, and it was feared 
that it would be attended with some disagreea- 
ble consequences ! I was much surprised to see 
sister Wade come, as I had left her house only 
the day before. The first question I asked her, \ 
how my child was ? She made me no repty. — 
It struck my mind very forcibly, that she was no 
more ! I requested her to tell me the worst, tor I 
was prepared for it — my mind had been impres- 
sed with a kind of foreboding for some time ! — 
She told me my child was gone, to return no 
more to me ! I felt it went to my heart, in sensa- 
tions that I cannot express! — it was a sorrow, 
but not without hope ; I felt my babe was torn 
from my bosom, by the cruel hand of death ! — 
Bui the summons was sent by him that has a 
right (o give and take away; and he had re- 
moved my innocent infant far from a world of 
grief and sin ! perhaps for my good ; for I often 
felt my heart too much attached to it; so much, 
that I feared it would draw my heart from my 
duty to my God ! — the danger of loving any 
creature in preference to our Saviour ! — I felt as 
one alone — my Lorenzo in Ireland — my child 
was gone to a happier clime ! I strove to sink 
into the will of God; but the struggle was very 
severe, although I thought I could sa} r , " The 
Lord gave, and the Lord hath taken away, and 
blessed be the name of the Lord f 

The day that my child was carried to War- 
ington, to be interred in the burying-ground of 
the quaker-methodists, about ten miles from 
where she died, I felt as though I must see her 
before she was consigned to the dust, to be food 



Vicissitudes of Life. 



for worms : they had to carry the corpse by the 
house that I was at — my friends opposed it so 
warmly, urging my present state of health as a 
reason. I thought perhaps it would be best, and 
I strove to compose myself, and use my reason, 
| and resign my all into the hands of the Lord— 
it was a severe struggle, but the Friend of sin- 
ners supported me under all my afflictions. 

They carried my sweet little Lettitia, and 
consigned her to the tomb, there to rest until 
the last trump shall sound, and the body and 
spirit be re-united again : and then we shall see 
how glorious is immortality I 

I wrote to my Lorenzo the day that our child 
dted : he did not get it, but wrote to me, and 
mentioned, that he wished to see me and the 
child ; which opened afresh the wound that had 
been received — but he got the news by way of 
Mrs. Johnson. He wrote to me, that he intend- 
ed to return to America in the spring, which I 
was very anxious for. My health began to get 
better, so that I was able to walk two miles at ti 
time, as walking was very customary among 
the people in that country. I felt a desire to re- 
turn to Warington, which I did in a canal boat, 
and was kindly received by my good friends and 
benefactors, Peter and Hannah Philips, with ma- 
ny others that had contributed to my comfort, 
while afflicted with sickness and distress. I 
stayed in the town of Warington for several 
weeks, with my friends and was frequently at 
the little chapel, where my sweet little infant's 
remains were deposited — and 1 often felt a plea- 
sure of the sweetest kind, in contemplating that 



Vicissitudes of Life. 



my child had escaped all the vanities and dan- 
gers of this treacherous and uncertain world, for 
the never-fading glories of paradise, where I 
hoped, when life should end, I should meet her 
to part no more ! — notwithstanding, I felt the 
loss very sensibly. 

I wrote to Lorenzo from that place, and re- 
ceived an answer, which was calculated to con- 
sole my heart, and comfort me under my present 
affliction. He desired me to meet him in Liver- 
pool on the first of March, which I did. I went 
by the way of Frodsham, in Cheshire, down the 
river, in a large flat, with a man and his wife, 
that were employed to bring the rock, for making 
salt. The river had been frozen considerably, 
and w as full of ice ; and when the tide came in, 
it appeared very alarming to me; but, after a 
little the boat got under way, and we had 
a tolerable pleasant sail down the river to Liver- 
pool, where I met with Mr. and Mrs. For- 
shaw, my kind friends that had succoured me in 
clays past, when I had no one to depend upon on 
that side of the great ocean ! — they still were, as 
ever, friendly; where I stayed until near the 
middle of March, when Lorenzo returned from 
Ireland, which made my heart rejoice ! 

We left Liverpool in a canal boat for the 
country, and visited several towns, where Lo- 
renzo preached to numerous congregations. — 
The people were remarkably attentive : there 
was a pleasant prospect opened before him, and 
he received more invitations to preach in differ- 
ent parts of the country than he could attend. 

There had a number of people determined to 



Vicissitudes of Life. 3,5 

; me from Ireland to America, with us; and 
were accordingly to meet us in Liverpool, in 
April. Consequently, we had but a few weeks 
to stay in and about Warington. I had become 
so much attached to the friends, that it was truly 
painful to part with them. Our friends came 
from various parts of the country to bid us fare- 
well; and we had sweet and melting times to- 
gether, not expecting to meet again, until we 
should meet in a blissful eternity. 
< We left Warington for Lymn, where Lorenzo 
preached, and bid the people farewell; they 
were much affected — we parted with a hope of 
meeting in a better and happier world. From 
thence we went to Preston^brook, . where my 
Lorenzo preached again another farewell ; it 
was a precious time to many, — from there to 
Frodsham — the people flocked round him with 
the greatest affection, for there the Lord had 
blessed his labours in a peculiar manner to the 
souls of many ; he preached to them for the last 
time, and bid them an affectionate farewell, 
while they were bathed in tears, seemingly as 
much pained as though they were parting with a 
parent. 

From thence he went to Chester, the most 
ancient city, perhaps, in that country, except 
London ! He left me to come in the coach a 
few days after, whilst he vi?ited the country ad- 
jacent. Accordingly I met him on the day ap- 
pointed ; and we stayed some time in Chester* 
It was a great curiosity, as it was built on the 
most ancient construction : being walled in^ 
.quite around; and fh° outside of the wall very 



Vicissitudes of Life. 

high; there was a trench dug on the outside, 
and it was walled up from that: the top of the 
wall was wide enough for a carriage to pass, 
with a breastwork sufficiently high to prevent 
any thing from failing over, and upon the inside 
was another similar! 

The antiquity of the houses, and the noble- 
ness of the public buildings, struck me with a 
solemnity that I cannot express. My thoughts 
ran to times that had gone by, when those that 
had laid the foundation of these walls were ani- 
mated with life and activity ! Where are they 
now ? They have gone to a world of spirits — 
and we must shortly follow them ! And those 
that take our place, will wonder at the labour of 
cur hands, in like manner t 

The country is truly delightful that surrounds 
the city of Chester. It was in the spring when 
I was there ; when every thing wears a pleasing 
appearance. 

The people were very hospitable and kind, at 
least they were so to me. 

We left Chester for Liverpool in a little sail- 
boat, and the river was something rough. — 
There was a num'-er of passengers, which made 
it quite unpleasant; but we arrived safe in the 
evening, where we met our friends from Ireland, 
that intended to come to America with us. Lo- 
renzo had made the necessary preparations for 
the voyage; and he had chartered the cabin, 
and steerage for the accommodation of passen- 
gers, at a lower rate than he could have got it, 
if there had been but two or three. 

The first ship that he engaged to transport u* 



Vicissitudes of Life. 37 

to our native soil, sprang a leak as she was com- 
ing out of dock — got injured by some means, and 
had to unlade, and get it repaired ; so that it de- 
layed her sailing for some time longer. But as 
we were in readiness to leave the country, Lo- 
renzo met with another, where he could obtain 
accommodations at a better rate : he according- 
ly made a bargain with the captain for a passage 
in her, and every thing being prepared for our 
voyage, on the sixth of May we hoisted sail and 
weighed for America, which gave me a very 
pleasant sensation ; after having been in Eng- 
land and Ireland about eighteen months, and 
experiencing many kindnesses and favours from 
the people ; and that Lorenzo was made an in- 
strument in the hand of a gracious God, in 
bringing many precious souls to the knowledge 
of the truth. 

On the first day, in the morning, we had a ve- 
ry pleasant breeze, but the fog springing up, it 
was something gloomy for several days — but by 
that means we avoided the ships of war, that 
were very numerous on the coast of England ; 
and as Lorenzo and myself had no legal passports 
from that country, the law being such, that 
aliens were much put to it to travei in that king- 
dom ; and particularly those that were in Loren- 
zo's capacity, such as preachers: they must first 
take the oath of allegiance to the king of Eng- 
land, and get licence to preach, or they were 
subject to a fine for every sermon they should 
preach of twenty pounds each, and every house 
must be licensed also, or the man that owned it 
was subject to a fine of twenty pounds 5 and e.v* 
P 



38 



Vicissitudes of Lift. 



ery person that beared preaching there, were 
likewise liable to pay five shillings! But Lo- 
renzo, in the first place, could not take the oath 
that was requested, to obtain that licence — he 
thought as he had left his native land, not to gain 
worldly honour or applause, he could still trust 
that Providence who had guided his course 
through the great deep, and brought him through 
many dangers and difficulties in his own coun- 
try, so he strove to do his duty, and leave the 
event to God. 

We had a very pleasant voyage, except the 
passengers w r ere generally sick, for more than a 
week, except my husband and self. I was nev- 
er better in health in my life — but they recover- 
ed their health and spirits after a few days; and 
we had some very good times on board. Lo- 
renzo preached to the people on Sundays, and 
we had prayers night and morning, when the 
weather would admit. We had plenty of the 
necessaries of life to make us comfortable. 

We were betwixt six and seven weeks on 
our passage. Some time towards the last of 
June, we saw the leng-wished for land of Ameri- 
ca, which I had so earnestly desired to behold 
once more : the beautiful country and town of 
New-Bedford, in Massachusetts, presented to 
view, where we landed, and was kindly received. 

The people that professed religion were chief- 
ly qualcers, and the people who stiled themselves 
Christians. Lorenzo held several meetings in 
the town, which was very satisfactory to many. 

After staying near two w r eeks in Bedford, Lo- 
renzo, with nearly all the passengers that were 



Vicissitudes of Life. 



39 



|;m the ship, went on board a packet for New- 
York ; and left me to come round with the other 
women in the ship, to Virginia, and to meet 
him in Richmond. 

We parted — and I had to stay nearly two 
weeks, before the ship sailed ; they were taking 
out the lading, and preparing her for a fresh car- 
go when they should arrive at Virginia, It was 
about the time that the ship Chesapeake was fired 
upon by the British ! We sailed from New- 
Bedford about the first of July, and had tolera- 
ble pleasant weather, though we were lonely, 
not having any company but us three women. 
We got into Chesapeake Bay at evening, and pas- 
sed one of the armed vessels belonging to the 
British, and expected them to have stopped us, 
as it had been reported that they were in the 
habit of requiring the captains of American ves- 
sels to pull down their colours to them, or else 
firing upon them ; however we passed unmolest- 
ed, except they hailed us, but it being dark, we 
got by. Sister W ade was very much alarmed : 
but I felt s© much of the spirit of independent 
America, that I did not wish my country's flag 
to be disgraced in our own waters. In the 
morning we came into Hampton Roads, where 
we anchored, and stayed several days, while the 
captain took a boat and went to Norfolk to seek 
for a cargo in sight of the other British ships of 
war. 

We were in a very unpleasant situation, as 
we had no one on board that we could place any 
real confidence in ; but Providence provided for 
u*j and we met with no insults from any. The 



£0 Vicissitudes of Life* 

captain returned at night; and the next mora 
ing we set sail for City Poi?it. The day was 
delightful, and the scenes that surrounded was 
truly pleasing. The river seemed by the bends 
to be inclosed in on every side ; and the banks 
to be covered with all the beauties that summer 
could produce, w hich gave my mind a pleasant 
sensation, when I reflected that it was my na- 
tive country — my beloved America I ! But lit- 
tle did I know what awaited me in my native 
land ! ! 

We sailed on very pleasantly through the day ; 
and about eight or nine o'clock we arrived at 
City Point. The ship was in the river, until 
her lading was brought down from Richmond in 
lighters. The weather was getting very warm, 
and we were obliged to stay on board until we 
could get an opportunity to go to Richmond, 
which, by land, was not more than twenty-five 
miles ; but by water it was, perhaps, twice as 
far, and here time passed away very heavy, un- 
til the master of the ship went up to Richmond 
on business, and hired a hack to return ; conse- 
quently we embraced the opportunity, when it 
returned, to get a seat in it up to Richmond, 
leaving our trunks and other things, to be bro't 
up by the boats, that were to bring down the 
lading for the ship. 

We bid farewell to the ship, where I had been 
confined the most of the time for near three 
months, and it was a happy day to me, although 
I was in a part of the continent that I had never 
been in before ; I felt as though I could kiss the 
ground : but my companion, Mrs. W ade, her 



Vicissitudes of Life. 41 

mind was occupied in quite a different way, — 
she wa3 thousands of miles from her native land, 
while I was breathing my native air. 

We arrived in Richmond about one or tv^p 
o'clock, and stopped at the " Bell Tavern" stran- 
gers to all that we saw : however, I had receiv- 
ed a direction where to go, and make myself 
known, which I did, at a brother Foster's, and 
when they learned who I was, received us very 
kindly; but it was a severe trial, it being the 
first time I had been obliged to call on friends, 
without any one to introduce me. But the Lord 
provided for me, and I found many friends in 
that place : w T e stayed there some days. 

Brother Wade and Lorenzo came and met us, 
and held several meetings, and we had good 
times with the brethren. There I saw the girl 
that brother Mead has since married 

Lorenzo had bought a span of mules, before he 
w ent to Europe ; and they were to be broke for 
a carriage by the time he should return ; but 
they were taken and put into a waggon, and so 
broke down that they were unfit for use. He 
had paid eighty pounds for them just before he 
left the continent; this was the beginning of 
trouble to him. 

We obtained the loan of a gig from one of our 
Meads, to carry us up as far as Cumberland, to 
Mr. John Hobsorfs, who had been a great friend 
to Lorenzo in days that were past and gone, 
and still appeared to be such : here he traded oft* 
his mules with a man for a horse and gig not 
worth half the money that he payed for them ; 
but he could do no better, as we were under the 



*2 Vicissitudes of Life* 

necessity of going to the north, to make ready 
to go to the Missisippi, where my relations had 
£one, and I was very anxious to go. But O 
the heart-felt sorrow they were the cause of to 
me and my companion after ! 

We left our friend's house, and started for the 
North : as we had written to my sister in the 
Missisippi, on our first arrival in America, but 
had got no answer from them : I felt very desi- 
rous to hear from her, as she was as a mother to 
aie in my infant days, I loved her dearly. 

We went through New-London and Lynchburg, 
where we met with many friends, and at- 
tended a Camp-Meeting in Amherst ; from thence 
to New-Glasgow, where Lorenzo preached at 
night ; we stayed at an old gentleman's house, 
who was very friendly. Thence, we continu- 
ed our journey on to a camp-meeting near George* 
Town, where we stopped and stayed until the 
meeting broke up : our horse was at some per- 
son's place, to be kept ; And I expect got noth- 
ing to eat — for we only went from the camp- 
meeting to Leesburg, and from there to another 
little town, which was two short day's travel; 
but before we reached there he tired, and Loren- 
zo was obliged to trade him away for an old 
horse that was not worth but a little more than 
half as much ! however, he answered our pur- 
pose, so that we got on to New-York, where I 
met with some friends that I had seen before ; 
which were the fixst faces that I had met with 
for two years that I had ever beheld before, 
which gave me much satisfaction I 

We stayed at New-York for several weeks 



Vicissitudes of Life. 4 S 

and then started for New-England, to visit Lo- 
renzo's father. I had never seen him, nor any 
of the family, except one sister — it was a very 
great cross to me, but we arrived at his father's 
some time in September ; and was joyfully re- 
ceived by our Father, there being none of the 
family with them, except one daughter, and one 
grandson. There my Lorenzo could contem- 
plate the days of youth; for that was the place 
of his birth and of his rambles in childhood. The 
place where he first sought the path of righteous- 
ness — the way to peace and true happiness, in 
this world and that which is to come ! The 
house, from where his honoured Mother had 
taken her flight to a happier clime — where once 
he had enjoyed her company, with the rest of 
the family ; but now were separated hundreds of 
miles asunder ! ! 

Lorenzo held several meetings in the neigh- 
bourhood, and had tolerable solemn times ; but 
the society that he once belonged to was quite 
gone ! Some had died, and others had moved 
away, while others had gone back into the 
world, and lost their love to Christ and his 
cause ; which made him feel very awful ! His 
father was a worthy old man, a kind friend, an 
affectionate parent— he was every thing that was 
good in his family. I thought I could have 
done the part of a child for him, if I might have 
the privilege ; .but I felt a strong desire to see 
my sister, in the Missisippi. 

We went to Tolland, where Lorenzo had sent 
an appointment to preach at a Methodist meet- 
ing-house, and I did not expect to return to hi* 



*4 



Vicissitudes of Life. 



father's any more; but Lorenzo's sister from 
Vermont, coming down to her lather's, we re- 
turned and stayed two or three days longer. 

Lorenzo sold his gig and horse to a preacher, 
and bought his brother-in-law's horses, to return 
to New-York, where he had made an engagement 
with a man to make hirn a light waggon, which 
was to be>eady on hi3 return for the smith. 

We left his father's on horseback, after bid- 
ding them farewell ; but as I had not been ac- 
customed to travel in that mode for a long time, 
it was very fatiguiag to me, so that 1 could not 
endure it, and when I got within about forty 
miles of New- York, I was obliged to go by wa- 
ter the remainder of the way, while Lorenzo 
rode one horse and led the other. He arrived 
there some time before me, and had gone to the 
country, about ten or twelve miles from the city 
to preach, but returned that night. We stayed 
a week or more until our waggon was ready for 
us to start ; then bidding our friends farewell, 
proceeded on our journey. 

Lozenzo had given out appointments all the 
way to Virginia, and had tolerable hard work to 
keep up with them — we had to travel nearly one 
whole night over the mountain from Frederick- 
Town to the Potomack river, which we cros- 
sed about two o'clock in the morning. 

Lorenzo's appointments were some distance 
the other side of the river ; we lay down, and as 
soon as it was light we started again, and reach- 
ed the court-house just as the people had assem- 
bled. I went to a friend's house while Lorenzo 
preached to the people : after meeting we #ent 



Vicissitudes of Life. 



45 



on to the next appointment, where he preached 
again at night also; and so continued on our 
journey, until we arrived in Virginia, Lorenzo 
preached every day, once, and twice, and three 
times ; and when we arrived at Winchester, he 
preached twice to large congregations. From 
thence we went to a Camp-Meeting, where I saw 
brother Grober, a presiding elder, that I had 
been acquainted with a number of years ago 5 
which was very satisfactory to me. 

We left the camp-ground in the morning for 
Staunton, where Lorenzo had an appointment at 
night : it was threatening to rain in the morn- 
ing when we »thrted, and about twelve o'clock 
it began, and rained almost as fast as I ever 
saw it; we were in an open waggon, and I was 
wet through and through : as it continued to 
rain excessive all the afternoon, when we arriv- 
ed at Staunton it was almost dark, and the people 
had assembled for meeting; Lorenzo had not 
time to take any refreshment, but went and 
preached in his wet clothes. We were received 
with coolness by the family that we stayed with, 
although he was acquainted with them before, — 
but that is nothing uncommon — man is so chang- 
able in his nature, that we may find him at one 
time all friendship, and perhaps the next day he 
is as cool as need be. Hence I have found it ne- 
cessary to strive to take it as it comes ; to be 
thankful for friends, when I find them; and to 
be satisfied when I have them not. 

It was on Saturday night that we got to Staun- 
ton, and Lorenzo intended to stay until Monday 
morning. On Sunday morning brother Wade 



jb6 Vicissitudes of Life. 

caine from New-London to meet us, and carry me 
home with him ; and Lorenzo had calculated on 
leaving meat Hobson's in Cumberland, while 
he went to the Missisippi territory ; consequent- 
ly he thought it best for me to go to New-Lon- 
don with brother Wade who was anxious for me 
to go and stay with his wife a few months, as 
she was a stranger in this country ; and my com- 
ing to America in company with her, it made 
us like sisters indeed. It was a trial to my mind 
to part with my companion for nine or ten 
months ; as I did not expect to be with him but 
a few days, even if I went on to Cumberland 
with him, as he then must leave me, and start 
for the country where my sister lived : accord- 
ly we parted, and I went home with brother 
Wade. This was on Sunday, and he was to 
leave Staunton the next morning. My spirits 
were very much depressed ; but I did not know 
what laid before me. I arrived in New-London 
in safety, and was kindly received by sister 
Wade, and had got tolerably composed, w hen I 
received a letter from Lorenzo, which gave me 
an account of the imprudence of my sister that 
lived in the Missisippi — but it was in so dark a 
style that I did not comprehend it fully, as I 
could not believe that she would be guilty of 
such enormities. I thought some one had charg- 
ed her without grounds : that w as some conso- 
lation to me, as I hoped it was not true. I was 
in hopes that he would come through New-Lon- 
don, and give me a more full account of the cir- 
cumstance; but he could not, consistently with 
M& arrangements. I was in great distress of 



Vicissitudes of Life. 



47 



mind on her account, as she had been a great 
k professor of religion, and the cause must suffer 
by her falling so foully ; and the disgrace at- 
tending it was almost unbearable. Brother Mead 
and his wife came through New-London on their 
way to Georgia, and brought the news that Lo- 
renzo was not coming through that place, which 
made my heart almost sink within me. I felt as 
though the trial was more than I could bear — 
but this was but the beginning of sorrow. 

I stayed at brother Wade's for more than two 
months, and was kindly treated by him and his 
wife, and many others ; and had many good 
times in meeting with the children of God, to 
worship him. The letter that I had received 
from Lorenzo in Cumberland, had stated that my 
sister had been guilty of very improper conduct, 
but that she was penitent But when Lorenzo 
got to Georgia, he received a letter from brother 
Blackman, stating that she had escaped from her 
husband with a young man, and had gone over 
the line into the Spanish country, to elude the 
displeasure of their connexions. It was then an 
undeniable fact that she was really guilty — and 
Lorenzo wrote to me from Georgia a full account 
of the circumstance, which gave me the severest 
wound that 1 had ever felt. To have heard of 
her death, O how much more preferable! — but I 
had no other way, but must submit. My dear 
sister, that lay so near my heart, had strayed so 
widely from the path of rectitude — it was such an 
heart-rending affliction, 1 thought it was almost 
more than I could bear ! — It appeared impossi- 
ble that she couid be so far lest to her own hon- 



iS Vicissitudes of Life. 

our, and the love that she had manifested to the 
cause of God, and the prosperity of Zion, as to 
be guilty of such an atrocious crime. But so it 
is, that some who make the greatest show of re- 
ligion wound it the deepest : so it was in this 
case ! She had professed to have experienced the 
blessing of religion, for many years ; and was so 
much opposed to any thiug that had the appear- 
ance of imprudence in her own sex, as any per- 
son that ever I knew. She was married when 
young to a man that was inferior to her. in point 
of talents, and was not calculated to get the 
world, as the saying is, as much as many others ; 
and she possessed a very proud spirit, together 
with a very quick temper — and he not having 
as mild a disposition as might be. they were un- 
happy in their union, which was attended with 
many disagreements. He was subject to intox- 
ication, and that was frequently the cause of 
much misery between them ! I was witness, 
many times, to such conduct on both sides, that 
gave me the greatest pain of any thing that could 
have befallen me. I often would beg my sister 
to say nothing, but her turbulent disposition was 
such, that I have thought she would almost suf- 
fer death, rather than submit to any one. 

They lived in that wary for many years. She 
was very industrious, and strove hard to live ; 
but he was negligent, and often spent more than 
he made ! They removed, when they were first 
married, into the state of New-York, about nine- 
ty miles from the place of their nativity, where 
they lived five or six years; she had religion at 
that time, and he opposed ber yery mueb, a* she 



Vicissitudes of Life, *D 

had joined the Baptist church before she left 
New-England; but after leaving her Christian 
friends, and having so much opposition, she had 
lost her religion almost entirely, and become 
like the rest of the world. At that time the 
Methodists came into the neighbourhood, and 
she got acquainted with them, and would have 
joined them, but her husband would not permit 
her — but she attended their meetings, and was 
much engaged at that time. My broth e<in-law 
took it in his head to remove to Fort Stanrvix, on 
the Mohawk river, within seventy or eighty 
miles of the line of Canada, and she backslid 
again, not having any to converse with but those 
that were unacquainted with God or them- 
selves ! O how prone we are to forget the obli- 
gations we are under to our Saviour, notwith- 
standing it is on his bounty we live ! we are in- 
debted to him for every mercy that we enjoy t 
She continned to live in that careless w r ay for 
several years, until I was perhaps, eighteen years 
of age, and the Methodists found her out again ; 
and I got under distress for my soul : she got 
stirred up again, and I believe she had religion. 
My brother-in-law opposed us with all his might. 
They had got in a tolerable good way before 
this, and there was a prospect that they might 
live comfortable, as to the things of this life ; — 
but he possessed such an uneasy disposition, that 
he could never be satisfied unless he was trading, 
and he had but a poor talent for that business : 
he sold his plantation, that he could have made 
a comfortable living upon, to a man that was a 
sharper, on trust, and took uo security— the man 

E 



50 



Vicissitudes of Life. 



sold his property, and cleared himself, without 
making any compensation for the land. This 
was a very great affliction to my sister, as she 
had made every exertion for a living that a wo- 
man could do, and strove in every way she 
could to prevent his selling his place — but all to 
no purpose. He carried on a great stroke at 
drinking, and spending his time for nought : she 
was harrassed and troubled on every side, not en- 
joying that satisfaction in religion she had for- 
merly done, it made her truly wretched ! I strove 
to comfort her in every way that I could— we 
supported the family by our labour, weaving, 
spinning, and sewing, and any kind of work that 
we could do. 

This continued for more than twelvemonths, 
and then he took a little farm of about fifty 
acres of land, with a comfortable house for a 
small family that suited us very well ; the rent 
bein£ small, he could have lived as well as need 
be, if he would have been industrious. He was 
of a turn that was rather indolent and careless, 
but my sister and myself kept the family in tole- 
rable comfortable circumstances. 

It was at this time that the Methodist preach- 
ers came into the neighbourhood, and preached 
the gospel to poor lost sinners, — my heart was 
wrought upon, and I set out to seek the salvation 
of my soul. My sister heard the pleasing sound 
with gladness, but my brother-in-law was vio- 
lently opposed to them, and strove in every 
way that he could to prevent us from going to 
meeting ; but 1 felt determined to seek the Lord 
with all my heart, come what would, and strive 



Vicissitudes of Life. bl 



to save my soul ! it was near twelve months be- 
fore I joined Society, or my sister; but at last 
we broke through and joined the people called 
Methodists — and I have never seen the time 
that 1 was sorry that I cast my lot with them ; 
but I have often lamented that I did not live 
nearer to the gospel rules that they teach ! 

After we had joined society, my brother-in- 
law became somewhat more softened, and let us 
have more peace, and would sometimes go to 
meeting ; but he still continued to go on in the 
same evil practice of spending his time in the 
most unprofitable way — but the preachers and 
people that feared God ceased not to pray for 
him, and at last he was brought to see his situa- 
tion, and the danger of living in sin, and set 
about the work of his own salvation ; and I 
doubt not but he experienced the pardon of his 
sins. O the joy that was felt on this occasion ! 
we had, as it were, a heaven begun below t He 
became a new man, and Providence seemed to 
bless us on every side — -and we continued to en- 
joy the consolations of religion for several years, 
and the Lord prospered us in all our underta- 
kings until after I was married, and they started 
for the Missisippi, and my husband and myself 
parted with them : we were coining for New- 
York, and from thence to sail for Europe. 

They went to that country, and it appeared 
they left all the prudence that they ever possessed 
behind them ; for when they arrived, he, it ap* 
peared, thought that he could launch into build- 
ing Mills, not counting the cost that he must be 
at, but calculating that Lorenzo, when he re- 



Vicissitudes of Life. 



turned from his tour in Europe, would pay att 
expenses — he ran into debt for land that had a 
mill seat upon it, and began to erect a mill. 

Some people were much pleased with them, 
as they appeared to be engaged in religion. — 
My sister was very much respected by people, 
both religious and irreligious — but O the danger 
we are exposed to while in this world. She 
was possessed of good natural ability, and con- 
siderable acquired knowledge, and was the last 
person I should have thought would have con- 
ducted in the way she did ; but we have need 
to watch and pray, lest we enter into temptation. 
She had lived with her husband for twenty years 
at least, and I never heard or knew any thing 
laid to her charge of that nature, before or after 
her marriage — and she had been a guide to me 
in my youth, and I suppose, possessed as great a 
sense of honour as any person I ever knew ; but 
how it was I cannot tell : she fell into a snare of 
the enemy, and became a prey to the most unac- 
countable of all vices. There was a young 
man, that was a most abandoned character, and 
principle, that was taken into the family, that 
she was fond of, by some means ; and there was 
a criminal intercourse between them for several 
months before it w T as discovered. She was in 
society, and thought to be very pious, but at last 
it was mistrusted by some, and a plan laid to 
detect them, which was accomplished — and 
when it was proved upon her she gave some 
marks of penitence, and her husband would have 
made friends with her, — but when the devil gets 
the advantage of poor infatuated mortals, he 



Vicissitudes of Life. 



itiakes the best improvement of it in his power — 
so it was in this case ; for I expect her sorrow 
was but slight, if she was in the least affected 
with sorrow — for as soon as she found that Lo- 
renzo and myself had returned to America, she 
laid every plan to make her escape with that 
wretched young man, into the Spanish country, 
which she affected, and left her husband in a 
state of mind almost frantic : he had more affec- 
tion for her than I once thought him capable of. 
He went after her, and strove to get her to re- 
turn, but she would not. I do not think there ev- 
er was as permanent a union between them as 
was necessary for happiness. O the misery 
of many that are joined in the holy bands of 
matrimony : for the want of due consideration 
they rush into that state, and are wretched for 
life. 

When she completed her wicked plan, inform- 
ation was communicated to us — my Lorenzo had 
left me and started for that country. No one 
can paint the heart-felt sorrow that I experien- 
ced on receiving the information ! I felt as 
though I was deprived of almost all my earthly 
comfort ! I felt I could not believe it possible 
that she could have acted in that miserable dis- 
graceful manner ; but it was even so ! Many 
have been the nights that I have wet my pillow 
with tears upon her account, but all ta no pur- 
nose. O that it may be a warning to me to 
watch and pray, lest I enter into temptation J— 
Lorenzo went on, and found my poor brother-in- 
law in a wretched state of mind, and every thing 
that he had was in a ruinous condition ; and 
E 2 



Vicissitudes of Life. 



furthermore, they had run so deeply in debt that 
it was impossible for my brother-in-law to ex- 
tricate himself from it. He had made a con- 
tract with a couple of girls for a tract of land 
that had a mill seat upon it, and began to build 
a mill, without a title to the land ! When Lo- 
renzo came, he wished Lorenzo to assist him to 
procure the land, that he might not be in danger 
of losing his labour. Lorenzo felt a very great 
reluctance to engage in any thing oi the kind, 
but by the persuasion of friends he was prevail- 
ed upon to make a contract with the girls for the 
land, and likewise paid the old man for his la- 
bour, as he desired to return to the state of Xe?v- 
York again. There was considerable less than 
one hundred acres, with a log cabin, upon it — 
he paid him a very enormous price for it, which 
was a great disadvantage to him, as he was not 
a man that felt a freedom to have much to do \ 
with the world, except when he could not well 
avoid it. After he had got the place, he scarce- 
ly knew what to do with it — the mill was not 
finished; there was a dam and mill frame, but 
the dam had broke, and it was uncertain whether 
it could be made to stand, as the banks of the 
stream that it was erected on were so subject to 
wash in times of high-water. There was a man 
whe thought he could make it stand : Lorenzo 
made an offer to him of the place, if he would 
take it, and make a mill upon it, he should 
have one half of the mill : accordingly he under- 
took, and repaired the dam, so that it sawed 
some that winter. He intended to tear up the 
old foundation 2 and build entirely on anetfeer 



Vicissitudes of Life. 



plan — and was to hare the use of the old mill 
until he should get the other finished. 

People in that country appeared anxious 
that Lorenzo should come to that part of the 
world, and get a residence : they talked that 
they would assist us in any thing that we need- 
ed ; and as Lorenzo thought that it might be 
best to prepare for sickness, and for whatever 
might befal us, he concluded to come for me and 
bring me with him to that country. I had felt a 
great desire to go to the Missisippi, before my 
friends had conducted themselves in that wretch 
ed way, but now I felt a reluctance to going, fc, 
it appeared to me that I could not hold up my 
head in the place, where my own sister had 
disgraced herself and me : my heart recoiled at 
the thought of being a mark, as I knew I nmst 
for people to look at, and say, That is a sibter 
to such a woman ; and she bad been guilty of 
an odious crime. But as my Lorenzo thought 
it would be best for me to go, I made no obje«v 
tion. He returned in June to Cumberland, in 
Virginia, and we started for the North, and went 
on to Ne?v~York, where we stayed a few days— 
and from thence to Albany, where Lorenzo left 
me, and continued to journey onto his father's, 
in Connecticut, being gone six or seven weeks. 

I stayed in Albany part of the time, and Trov, 
and I also went to see my brotner, that lived 
near Sche?icctadij ! he did net profess religion, 
but was friendly to it, — I stayed there a few 
days. 

There was a Camp-Meeting' within eight or 
ten miles, where I expected to meet Lorenzo : 



56 Vkhsiitides of Life, 



my brother and his wife went with me to. the 
place on the commencement of it, and there to 
my great joy I met my companion, with many 
others of my acquaintance, that I had been ac- 
quainted with many years before. The meet- 
ing was attended with good to many — we stay- 
ed until the close, and then we went with some 
very kind friends to Troy, who gave Lorenzo a 
good suit of clothes, and were as affectionate to 
us as people could be. 

My brother-in-law, who came from the Mis- 
vjsippi, had been to the place that he left when 
removed to the Smith ; was at the meeting, 
and came down to Troy after us, as Lorenzo was 
to i'et him have some books on the account of his 
labi ur at the Missisippi ; he did so — but this 
was but the beginning of trouble to u*. It gave 
me inexpressible pain to see the man that I 
thought had been the cause, ia one sense, of the 
destruction of my poor sister ; for he had been 
an unkind husband in days that were past Al- 
though I could not excuse her, yet I believe if 
he had done as he ought, she never would have 
become what she did. But they were not equal- 
ly yoked together : he had some good traits in his 
character, but he was indolent, and a bad econ- 
omist, consequently kept them behind hand.— 
She was industrious, and would have managed 
well, if she had been united to a man that would 
have stood in his place, and made her known am! 
kept her's— for she possessed a turbulent disposi- 
tion. But he was neither a good husband, nor a 
goodtnanager; that made her fret at him, and 
he would not take it from her — thus it was a 



Vicissitudes of Life. 



means of their living a considerable part of their 
time in discontent : but after they both expert* 
euced religion, they lived more agreeable, until 
they removed to the Alissisippi, and she fell in 
with that young man, who proved her ruin. 

We parted with our friends at Troy, after get- 
ting a small waggon and two horses, and what 
little we could get together, and started across 
the country to the Western waters, in company 
with a young man that came with us from Eu- 
rope, and a brother Valentine from the state of 
Nciv-York, who wished to go to that country.—- 
We travelled with as little expence as possible, 
through the state of Pennsylvania, and struck the 
Ohio river at Wheeling, where we stayed for 
near two weeks, at a quaker's, who was very 
kind to me. Lorenzo strove to get a passage in 
a flat-bottomed boat, where they frequently took 
horses, carriages, and produce, with families that 
are wishing to remove to that country- — but he 
could not obtain one that would take his horses, 
consequently he was under the necessity of tak- 
ing his horses through by land : he met with a 
person who was going down the river with a 
loaded barge to Natchez — they engaged to carry 
me with some trunks, and other baggage 
These people were friendly quakers, who owned 
the boat, that Lorenzo had engaged my passage 
in. But they were not ready to sail for some 
time, accordingly Lorenzo left me with the 
young man that came with us from Europe, to 
go down the river in this boat, while he went 
on by land. I felt very gloomy to be left 
among strangers, and to go on board a boat with 



58 Vicissitudes of Life. 




a company of men, without one woman for a 
companion. 

But the people in Wheeling were very kind to 
me while I stayed there, after Lorenzo left me, 
which gave me much satisfaction. They pro- 
vided me with many necessaries for the voyage, 
such as sugar, and tea, and other things to make 
me comfortable, for which may the Lord reward 
them. 

I stayed at Wheeling between one and two 
weeks after Lorenzo left me. In that time the 
people who owned the boat sold it to a couple 
of Doctors from Virginia, with all that apper- 
tained to it ; but they made a reserve for me 
fitill to go in the boat. This was a very trying 
time to me : the people that owned the boat, 
when Lorenzo applied for me to go down in it, 
were plain quakers, and they promised Lorenzo 
to take good care of me ; but the man that had 
bought the boat was quite of a different appear- 
ance, although he was in a gentleman's garb.— 
The young man that was with me went as a 
&and to help work the boat : we went on board 
at evening— the barge was laden with flour 
and cider, and various kinds of produce that 
were fitted for the Natchez ; — there was a small 
cabin, where there were two births where three 
or four persons might sleep tolerably comfortable. 
There I was obliged to rest at night : and there 
was a small vacancy between this cabin and 
the other part of the boat, where they had run 
up a small chimney, where they could cook pro- 
visions. In thi3 gloomy situation I was fixed 
to start for the Missisippi, where I knew I must 



Vicissitudes of Life. 59 

meet with many trials if ever i should reach 
there. 

The river, at the time when we started, was 
very low, and we made but slow progress for 
many days together. I could not set my foot on 
land — shut up in a boat, with none but men, and 
those of that class who neither feared God or 
man : though they for the most part, treated me 
with civility. None can tell how disagreeable 
such a situation is, but those who have passed 
through some things similar. 

We left Wheeling about the last of October.— 
The boat stopped at Lyme stone in Kentucky for 
part of one day ami a night : there Lorenzo had 
some acquaintances; and when they found out 
that I was on board of this boat, some of them 
came down to see me, and invited me to go oo 
shore and stay the night, which I accepted with 
thankfulness. 

I had some hope that Lorenzo would arrive 
there before the boat would start in the morn- 
ing O how anxiously I looked out for him, but 
he did not come — and I had to go on board the 
boat very early in the morning, and continue on 
my journey with a very heavy heart. My mind 
was much depressed — the prospects before me 
were dark, when I should reach my place of des- 
tination; and the weather was uncommonly 
cold for that climate and season. 

After being confined on board of a boat for 
six weeks, we reached the mouth of Byopeare, 
about twelve miles from Gibson Fort, which was 
forty miles from Nat ches ; we left the boat, my- 
self and the young man that was with me— took 



60 Vicissitudes of Life. 

our things to a public house; but that was tea 
or twelve miles from the place that we wished 
to get. I had never been in that country be- 
fore, but Lorenzo had several times ; and hence I 
had some grounds to expect I should find some 
friends, as many of them had manifested a de- 
sire that I should come to that country : but my 
9ister had conducted in such a manner, that it 
made my way difficult ; and how to get to the 
neighbourhood that I wished to go to, I did not 
know. 

However, brother Valentine, that came with 
us from the state of New-Nork, travelled by land 
with Lorenzo, as far as Lymestom ,and then put his 
horse on board of a boat, and worked his passage 
down to the same place that I was at. I landed 
at night, and he came in the morning; so that 
1 was provided for. We left our things at this 
public house, and I rode the horse, while he and 
the young man walked about twelve miles thro' 
the mud. This was about the twelfth of Janua- 
ry. We stayed at Gibson Port that night, about 
four miles from the place where my sister had 
lived, and brought such a stain on the cause of 
religion. We were all strangers ; but Lorenz© 
had wrote to some friends that we were coming 
--and furthermore, he had requested them if I 
should arrive before him, that they would take 
care of me until he should come. 

We left Gibson Port and went to the neighbour- 
hood of the mill, to the house of Samuel Co- 
bun. He did not profess religion, though he 
was very kind and humane ; but he had two sis- 
ters, that were members of the Methodist ehnrcfe. 



Vicissitudes of Life-. 



61 



He had no wife living, and they lived with him 
to take care of his family, — they had been 
friends to my sister, when she first went to that 
country. They received me, apparently with 
affection, which was a consolation to my heart; 
for I expected to meet with many a cool look on 
the account of my poor unfortunate sister; 
which I expect I did ; but I do not blame them, 
as it had given them so much pain — but I could 
not help it — however I stayed at Mr. Cobun's 
until Lorenzo came ; as those that professed re- 
ligion seemed not to take much notice of me. — 
When Lorenzo left me at Wheeling, he went 
on through the states of Ohio, Kentucky, and 
Tenessee, and so on through the Indian country 
to the Missisippi territory. 

A man that was a Methodist and preached, 
who had appeared very friendly to Lorenzo in 
days that were past, to whom Lorenzo had writ- 
ten, and requested him, if I should reach there 
before him, that this friend would permit me to 
stay with him until he should arrive ! But he 
did not seem very anxious that I should stay at 
his house : he came over to Mr. Cobun's, which 
was six or seven miles, to see me, and requested 
me to come and see them ; as though I had been 
fixed in a comfortable situation, with every thing 
that I needed. But it was quite the reverse 
with me ; I had neither house nor friends in that 
country, without the people chose to befriend 
Hie. I was a stranger in a strange land ; in the 
neighbourhood, where my nearest relatives had 
conducted very improperly, and I expect that 
was one cause wby the frientfs kept so distant: 



62 



Vicissitudes of Life. 



however, the family that I was with was very 
kind ! I went once to this friend's house, before 
Lorenzo arrived, which was somewhere about 
two weeks ; I stayed there one night, and then 
returned to Mr. Cobun's, where I stayed until 
Lorenzo came to me. 

The winter had been uncommonly severe, 
and he had a very distressing time through the 
wilderness, but Providence had brought him 
through in safety, w hich Was a matter of re- 
joicing to my poor heart. 

The cloud that had been gathering for some 
time grew darker and darker, so that we scarce- 
ly knew which way to turn, or how to extricate 
ourselves from the difficulties that my imprudent 
friends had brought us into on every side : they 
had run into debt to merchants, making the im- 
pression, that when Lorenzo came from Europe 
he would pay all. There was some that had 
befriended them on Lorenzo's account ; these he 
felt it was his duty to compensate, which he did. 
My brother-in-law had made a contract with 
some people in that country for a tract of land, 
on which was a mill-seat; and without any title 
whatever, before we returned from Europe he 
went to building a mill, which involved them 
still deeper in debt; and, after Lorenzo returned 
from Europe and went to that country, which 
had been nearly twelve months after, and find- 
ing him in such a distressed situation, that he, 
out of pity, stept in to assist him as a kind of 
mediator, they cast the whole burthen on his 
shoulders, which proved a heavy one to Lo- 
renzo. 



Vicissitudes of Life. 



63 



We arrived there in January, — we had a cou- 
ple of tolerable good horses and a small waggon.^ 
and some money ; but we were under the neces- 
sity of parting with them, and what little money 
we had was soon gone. The old mill-frame, 
which was all that was done to the mill, Loren- 
zo let a man take on such terms as these — that 
he might undertake to build a mill, if he chose, 
without any more expense to Lorenzo; and if 
he could make one stand Lorenzo should he en- 
titled to one half. 

We stayed with a family near the mill frame 
from March until July ; in this time I was taken 
sick with the fever that is common in that coun- 
try, on the day that Lorenzo had resolved to pre- 
pare to start for Georgia, and my life was des- 
paired of; and the people that had appeared so 
desirous that we should come to that country, 
forsook us ; and had not the man that was styled 
& Deist, that first received me into his house, be- 
friended us now, I know not what I should 
have done— his two sisters, Elizabeth and Ann 
Cobun, were friends indeed : Ann stayed wilh 
me night and day for about three weeks, and 
then we were under the necessity of removing 
from this house some where else; and where to 
go we could not tell ! 

However, Mr. Coburn gave us permission to 
come and stay at his house as long as we chose ; 
but I was so low at that time that I could not sit 
up at all. They sewed some blankets together 
over a frame, similar to a bier to carry the dead, 
and layed a bed upon it, and laid me thereon. 



6 i Vicissitudes of Life, 



and two blackmen conveyed me to his hoii3c, 
which was perhaps a mile. 

The next day Lorenzo was taken very ill 
also. There we were both confined to our beds, 
unable to help each other to as much as a drink 
of water. At that time Lorenzo could not have 
commanded one dollar, to have procured so much 
as a little medicine. 

This was a trying time; and when the storm 
would be over we could not tell— but the Lord 
supported us under these distressing circumstan- 
ces, or we must have sunk beneath the weight- 
Forever praised be the adored name of our great 
Benefactor for all his mercies unto us. 

My fever began to abate, but Lorenzo grew 
worse ; and it was doubtful which way it would 
terminate with him. O the anguish of heart I 
felt at this trying juncture ! I was still so low 
that I could not sit up but very little, nor walk 
without assistance, and we were altogether de- 
pendent on others for the necessaries of life — 
Lorenzo appeared to be fast approaching to 
eternity, but after some weeks he began to gain 
a little, so that he was able to ride a few miles at 
a time , and we then removed to brother Ra?idai 
Gibson's, where we stayed a few days. I was 
still unable to work, as I then had the common 
ague and fever ; which kept me very weak and 
feeble. After staying there for some time, per- 
haps two weeks, we returned to friend Baker's, 
near the mill. Lorenzo held meetings as much as 
he was able, and perhaps more, although he was 
go weak in body and depressed in mind, he did 
not ?lack hte labours, but preached frequently 



Vicissitudes of Life. C 5 

sitting or laying down. There was a young 
man, who died about six or seven miles from 
where we then were, desired Lorenzo should 
preach his funeral : he was still very feeble, but 
wished to be of some use to his fellow mortals, 
the few days he might have to stay in this world 
of woe. 

He started soon in the morning to attend the 
funeral, and brother Baker with him. This was 
on Sunday ; he preached to a crouded congrega- 
tion, with considerable liberty ; the people were 
tender and attentive. After the conclusion of 
the ceremony, he started to return to brother 
Baker\ where he had left me, and had rode but 
a few miles before he was taken suddenly ill, 
and would have fallen from his horse, if friend 
Baker had not saw that something was the mat- 
ter; and being active, he sprang from his horse, 
and caught him before he fell to the ground ; 
and as it happened they were near a small cab- 
in, that was occupied by a man that professed 
religion. They conveyed him into it senseless, 
and so ^e continued for some time; and when 
he came^to himself he w r as in the most excruci- 
ating pain imaginable. They gave him a large 
quantity of laudanum, which gave him some lit- 
tle relief ; but he could not be removed from 
that place. 

Brother Baker stayed with him until nearly 
night, and then came home. 1 had become ve- 
ry uneasy in my mind on his account, as he did 
not return according to my expectation ; when 
this friend came and told me Lorenzo's situa- 
tion,— my heart trembled lest I should be called 
F 2 



Vicissitudes of Life* 



to relinquish my claim, and resign him up to the 
pale messenger. It made me cry mightily to 
God to give me strength to say, " The will of 
the Lord he done." 1 had no reason to doubt, if 
the great Master saw it best to remove him 
from this region of pain, he would be conveyed 
by angelic bands to the realms of peace and hap- 
piness, where he would have to suffer no more 
pain and affliction, neither of body or mind ;— - 
but it was a task too hard for me to accomplish, 
without the immediate assistance of the Friend 
of sinners. 

I slept but little that night, and early the nest 
morning the friend at whose house Lorenzo was, 
came with two horses to take me to him — when 
I arrived there, I found him in a very distressed 
situation ; he could not be moved in any posi- 
tion whatever, without the greatest pain; he 
could lie no way, except on his back, and in this 
position he lay for ten days. The disorder wa3 
in his left side, and across his bowels ; I was ap- 
prehensive it would terminate in a mortification, 
and others, I believe, were of the same opinion. 
One day we thought he was dying, the whole 
day ; he was unable to speak for the greater part 
of the day. My mind was in such a state of 
anxiety as I had never experienced before— 
however, that appeared to be the turning point — 
far the next day he was something better, and 
continued to mend slowly ; and in a few days he 
had gained so much strength as to ride about a 
mile to a quarterly meeting — and a precious time 
it was to me, and many others. 

O what a a indulgent parent we have to rel v> 



Vicissitudes of Life. 67 



upon! May my heart ever feel sensations of 
gratitude to that God who hath cleared my way 
through storms of affliction, and various other 
difficulties. 

I had not recovered my health fully at thi3 
time. The people, it appeared to me, were al- 
most tired of us in every direction. I was una* 
ble to labour for a living, and Lorenzo was so 
feeble in body that he could preach but little ; 
consequently we were entirely dependent on 
others for a subsistence. 

We continued in the neighbourhood where 
Lorenzo had been sick, and that of the mill, un- 
til the first of January, and then we left that part 
for a friend's house, twelve or fourteen miles off ; 
their house was small, and family large, which 
made it very inconvenient to them and us, al- 
though they were very kind and friendly. 

Our situation at this time was truly distreg* 
sing — we scarcely knew which way to turn. — 
Lorenzo concluded it was best to strive to pre- 
pare some place as a shelter from the storms that 
appeared to have come to such a pitch, as not 
to admit of rising much higher. Sickness and 
poverty had assailed us on every side; and many, 
such as had professed to be our friends, forsook 
us in that country as well as in the states. It 
was circulating through many parts that we were 
at that time rolling in riches, surrounded with 
plenty. The old mill-frame (for it was never 
finished) had made such a noise in the world, 
that many had been led to believe that we pos- 
sessed a large plantation, with an elegant hous^ 
aud other accessary appurtenance together 



6$ 



Vicissitudes of Lift* 



with two or three mills, and a number of slavey 
beside money at interest. Whilst this was car- 
ried from east to west, and from north to south, 
and the people supposing that Lorenzo had rang- 
ed the wide fields of America, and also of Eu 
rope, to gather up worldly treasure, and had gone 
to the Missisippi to enjoy it, would of course 
make a very unfavourable impression on their 
minds, as it related to his motives in travelling 
in such an irregular manner as he had done. 

We were, as I observed before, in quite a dif- 
ferent situation — without house or home, or any 
thing of consequence that we could call our own. 

There was a tract of land, lying in the midst 
of a thick Cane-break, on which was a beautiful 
spring of water, breaking out at the foot of a 
large hill, which some person had told Lorenzo 
of : the soil belonged to the United States, and 
the cane was almost impenetrable, from thirty to 
forty feet high ; and likewise it was inhabited 
by wild beasts of prey, of various kinds, and 
serpents of the most poisonous nature. Not- 
withstanding these gloomy circumstances, Lo- 
renzo got. a man to go with him to look at it, to 
see if it would do for an asylum for us to fly to, 
provided we could get a little cabin erected 
near the spring. After he had taken a survey of 
ihe place, he concluded to make a trial, and em- 
ployed a man accordingly to put up a small log 
cabin, within ten or twelve feet of the spring, 
which he did, after cutting down the cane for to 
set it— a way was made through from a public 
road to the spot, so that we could ride on horse- 
back or on foot. We obtained a few utensils 



Vicissitudes of Life* 



6D 



for keeping house, and in March we removed to 
our little place of residence, in the wilderness, 
or rather it appeared like the habitation of some 
exiles /*— but it was a sweet place to me— I felt I 
was at home, and many times the Lord was pre- 
cious to my soul. 

; There was a man who had resided in Phila- 
delphia, and by some means had got involved in 
debt, and left there to reside in this country. He 
had a wife and one child : once he had belonged 
to the Methodist Society, and then backslid ; but 
after he came to that country he was brought in- 
to trying circumstances, which brought him to 
reflect on his present situation; and meeting 
with Lorenzo in this time, there began some in- 
timacy between them on this occasion : after 
this he wished to return to Philadelphia for 
a short time, and wanted some place for his 
wife to stay at while he should be gone; conse- 
quently he requested us to let her stay with us 
at our little cabin, which was agreed to — she 
came, and this made up our little family. She 
was a peaceable, friendly woman, and we spent 
the time quite agreeably ; although we were left 
by ourselves for days together, Lorenzo being 
frequently called from home, to attend meetings, 
and to procure the necessaries of life ! 

The people were much surprised when they 
came to our little residence, how we came to fix 
on such a lonely place as this to retreat to !— • 
This is a proof, that experience teaches more 
than otherwise we could learn: we had felt the 
want of a home in the time of trouble and sick- 
ness. This w r as a pleasant retreat to us : the 



TO Vicissitudes of Lift, 

wilderness appeared almost like a paradise to 
me ! There were but two ways we could get to 
our neighbours, the nearest of which was more 
than half a mile, and the way so intricate, that 
it would be almost impossible for any one to find 
it, or get through either place in the night. 

We stayed there for near four months; in 
that time Lorenzo preached as much as his 
strength would admit. We were some times ve- 
ry closely run to get what was necessary to 
make us comfortable ; yet I felt quite content- 
ed. I had in a good degree regained my health, 
so that I was able to labour, and I strove to do 
all that I could for a living, although my situa- 
tion was such, that I could not do as much as I 
wished; but the Lord provided for us, beyond 
what we could have expected. We did not 
know how long we should stay in that place, — 
we had no other alternative but to stay there, 
until Providence should open some other way. 

The man that had left his wife with us, and 
started for the city of Philadelphia, went as far 
as the falls of Ohio, and got discouraged, and 
getting into a boat, he returned to us in the 
cane: there we had an addition to our family, 
this man, and his wife, and child. The chief of 
the burthen fell to my lot, to do for them and 
ourselves, which Lorenzo thought was too much 
for me to go through with — and the man seemed 
not to give himself much concern about it, his 
wife being in a situation that would require more 
attention than I should be able to give, we tho't 
it was best to make our way to the States, if 
possible ; as we had been defeated in almost ev- 



Vicissitudes of Life. 



71 



ery thing that we had undertaken in that coun- 
try. Accordingly, Lorenzo made some arrange- 
ments to prepare to leave it. He let the man 
that was with us, have possession of the house 
and spring, and what little we had for family use, 
.as it relates to house-keeping, and took a horse 
for the intended journey. We left the peaceful 
retreat of the spring, where I had enjoyed some 
refreshings from the presence of the Lord ; and 
was again cast on the world, without any thing 
to depend upon but Providence. Howev- 
er, he had never forsaken us : his power and 
willingness to save all that trust in him was still 
the same ; and as he had promised that he would 
be with us in six troubles, and in the seventh 
that he would not forsake us : so it proved in 
the end. We left the little cabin on Sunday 
morning, to attend an appointment that Lorenzo 
had given out, twelve er fourteen miles distance 
from there, on horseback, where we arrived in 
time — he preached to an attentive congregation : 
this was about six mil e3 from Coburis, where we 
had found an asylum in days that was past ;« — 
we left the place where the meeting was held, 
and started for Mr. Cobun's, but we lost our "Way, 
by taking a foot-path that we supposed was near- 
er, and wandered in the woods until almost 
night, before we came to the place that we were 
in pursuit of ; but at last we got to the place, 
where we met with sister Cobim, and with broth- 
er Valentine, who had been back to the state of 
Nerv-York for his family, and had arrived here a 
few weeks previous. 
We did not intend to stay ia the country my 



73 



Vicissitudes of Life. 



longer than we could make the necessary a 
rangements for our journey through the wilde 
Bess to Georgia, Lorenzo turned every wa 
that he could, to obtain what was necessary, 
and had got all ready to start, our clothes and 
every thing being packed up, we concluded to 
attend a camp-meeting about six miles from the 
neighbourhood of the old mill-frame, and then 
continue on our journey : but Providence seem- 
ed not to favour our intentions at that time, for 
I was taken sick, and unable to travel — conse- 
quently, Lorenzo was under the necessity of 
leaving me behind, and going through without 
me, — but he stayed for several weeks longer, un- 
til I had in some degree recovered my health. — 
He had made some preparations for me to be pro- 
vided for in his absence. Brother Valentine had 
erected a small log-house on public ground, near 
the mill-frame, and contiguous to the little tract 
that Lorenzo still retained of perhaps five-and- 
twenty acres. This house, in conjunction with 
the sister Cohuns, he obtained from Mr. ValetU 
tine, for us to reside in, while he should take a 
tour through the States. 

He had let another man have a part of the 
right that he still held in the mill, if ever it 
should be made to do any business ; consequent- 
ly, this left him but one fourth, and that was in a 
state of uncertainty, whether it would ever be 
of any use to him, which the sequel has since 
proved to be the case. 

About this time my poor unfortunate sister 
finished her career, and was called to a world 
of spirits, to give an account for the deeds done 



Vicissitudes of Life. 



73 



|n the body ! I felt very awful when I first 
heard the news — but I considered that we had 
done all in our power to bring her back to the 
paths of rectitude. Lorenzo had seen her three 
times ; the first, on purpose — the second, on the 
road — the third, she came to meeting thirty 
miles to see me, but I was not there — and strove 
by every argument to prevail on her to come 
to us, and, forsake the ways of vice and strive to 
seek her soul's salvation, and we would strive to 
do the part of children by her. But she would 
not— alledging that she could not bear the 
scoffs of her acquaintance. When Lorenzo found 
that she was determined to stay with the per- 
son that she had apostatized for, he -told her to 
read the counsel of Jeremiah to Zedckiak, on 
their last interview, and look at the sequel, and 
make the application, at which she wept as they 
parted. This was the last time that he ever 
saw her ; she was taken sick shortly after, and 
died in a strange land, without a friend to drop 
a tear of compassion over her in her last mo- 
ments ! The person that had been her sedu- 
der went on like one distracted — his wickedness 
and evil conduct, no doubt, stared him in the 
face, when he reflected that he had been the 
cause of one, who had once enjoyed the Divine 
favour, losing that blessing, and falling into sin 
of such an enormous nature as she had been 
guilty of — and I know r not but he might have 
been the cause of her sudden departure ; but I 
leave that until the day when the secrets of ail 
hearts shall be disclosed ! 

She was interred in a lonely place, where, 

G 



7* Vicissitudes of Life. 

perhaps, in a few years the spot of earth canno: 
be found, that contains her ashes. 

that this may be a warning to all that may 
peruse this short account of the fall of one that 
might have proved a blessing to society, and a 
comfort to hevfriends, if she had kept at the feet 
of her Saviour, and attended to the dictates of 
that Spirit which teaches humility. 

1 was much afflicted on the account of my 
poor sister — she had lain near my heart : but I 
was enabled to give her up, knowing that she 
was gone to a Just Tribunal, and her state unal- 
terably fixed. What remained for me to do, 
was, to strive to make my way safely through a 
tempestuous world, to a glorious eternity. 

Lorenzo had made the necessary preparations 
for me to stay with the sister Cobuns. and for 
him to take his departure for the States, not ex- 
pecting to return in less than twelve months ;— 
this was something of a cross to me, as he wa3 
gtill considerably afflicted in body, and to ap- 
pearance, would never enjoy health again. But 
I was supported under it, so that I felt in a great 
measure resigned to tins dispensation also. I 
was supplied with what I needed to make me 
comfortable. 

I hsid joined society when I first came to this 
country, within a mile of the place I then lived. 
I lived in great harmony with my two compan- 
ions that Lorenzo had left me with, while he 
bad gone to visit the States once more. I at- 
tended meeting regular every week, and had 
many precious times to my soul. I had some 
trials to encounter, but the Lord was my helper- 



Vicissitudes of Life. 75 

and brought me through them all. I was desi- 
rous to return to some part of the States, if Pro- 
vidence should spare Lorenzo, and he should 
again come back to me in aafety. 

He left me in October. I spent that winter 
and the next summer, as agreeably as I had done 
such a length of time in almost any situation 
that I had been placed in for several years ; at 
the same time these people that had pretended 
a great deal of friendship to us in former times, 
were quite distant : however, this affected me 
but little, as I had learned in some degree this 
lesson, that our happiness does not depend on 
the smiles or frowns of the world ; but we must 
have peace in our own breast, or we can find it 
no where else. 

I lived quite retired from the world, with a 
few exceptions : I seldom went out but to meet- 
ing — there I found most peace and consolation. 
Thus I continued to spend my time, until the 
period that Lorenzo was to return. 

I received a letter from him, to meet him 
about twelve miles from where I then was, 
where he had sent an appointment to preach. — 
This was pleasing intelligence to me, as I had 
then been separated from him for near twelve 
months. 

I went the day before the time appointed for 
him to arrive at the place ; ancfthe day that he 
came I wa3 again attacked with the ague and 
fever, which I had never escaped for one sum- 
mer while I was in that country. The ague had 
left me, and the fever was tolerable high, when 
it was observed by some of the family that Lo- 



76 



Vicissitudes qf Life. 



renzo was come ! My heart leaped for joy at the 
sound of his name. We met, after having been 
separated for twelve months and six days. I 
felt some degree of gratitude to our great Pre- 
server, that he had brought us through many 
dangers and difficulties, which we had met with 
during our separation. 

We intended to return to the States, as soon 
as we could get prepared. There was a large 
congregation attended to hear Lorenzo preach ; 
and it was a solemn, melting time among the 
people ! after meeting we started for the place 
that I had made my home in his absence. Al- 
though I was quite unwell, in consequence of 
having a fit of the ague the day before, we rode 
twelve miles, in company with several friends 
that had come from the neighbourhood to meet 
him. 

It was ten o'clock before we reached our 
destination: however, we were very much re- 
joiced to have the privilege of joining our hearts 
and voices in prayer and praise to that God who 
had prolonged our lives, and brought us to meet 
again on mortal shores. The next day I had a 
very sick day — the ague came on more severely 
than it was the day that Lorenzo came back ! 
He wished to make ready to leave the territory, 
and I was anxious to go with him, as I could 
not enjoy health in that country. I made use 
of some means to get rid of the ague, and it had 
the desired effect, so that after a few days I got 
something better, and in about two or three 
weeks I was able to start on our journey through 
the wilderness to Georgia* 



Vicissitudes of Life. 77 

Lorenzo had intended to have stayed longer 
than he did when he returned, and had given 
out a chain of appointments through the coun- 
try; but reflecting that the winter rains might 
come on, and make it impossible for me to get 
through the long and tedious wilderness that we 
had to travel — consequently, he attended but 
one or two of these appointments, and recalled 
the rest, and started for Natchez, where we got 
what was necessary for our journey, and from 
thence we made the best of our way to the wil- 
derness, although our friends expected us to 
have returned and bid them farewell, and I my- 
self expected to have seen them again before I 
left that country ; but it was otherwise ordered, 
for I saw them no more ; and I do not know that 
I ever shall, until we meet in eternity. May 
God help us so to live, that we may join the 
blood-washed throng, in the mansions of endless 
day. 

We reached the outskirts of the settlements of 
Natchez on the third day after we left the city. 
It was something late in the day be fere we left 
the last house inhabited by white people, and 
entered the vast wilderness. This was a new 
scene to me, such as I had never met with be 
fore. My heart trembled at the thought oi 
sleeping out in this desert place, with no compa- 
ny but my husband : however, a little before 
sun^set we came to a place where we could get 
wafer and plenty of cane for our horses. There 
we stopped for the night, built ajire, and cut a 
quantity of cane for to last our horses through 
the night 5 after that we prepared our supoer 
G 2 



7 8 Vicissitudes of Lift. 

which consisted of coffee and hard biscuit, which 
we had brought from the settlements with us.— 
We had no tent to screen us from the inclement 
weather, but we had blankets on which we 
slept, which made us tolerable comfortable when 
the weather was clear. We lay down, after 
having prepared a quantity of wood for the night ; 
but it was a gloomy night to me, it being the 
first time that I ever had been in the like cir- 
cumstances ; and to look up and see the wide 
extended concave of heaven bespangled with 
stars, without any covering, it was truly majes- 
tic. Yet to consider we were in a lonely de= 
sert, uninhabited by any creature but wild beasts 
and savages, made me feel very much alarmed, 
and I slept but little, while Lorenzo was quite 
happy and composed ; as he observed, he had 
never been so well pleased with his situation in 
travelling through this wild unfrequented part 
of the country before ; and this was the tenth 
time that he had passed through it, in the space 
of nine or ten years ! 

We met with no molestation through the 
night, and as soon as day dawned we started on 
and travelled until late breakfast time, when we 
stopped, struck up a fire, and prepared some re- 
freshment, and fed our horses, and then continued 
on our journey. 

We travelled near forty miles that clay : it 
was quite dark before we got to Pearl River^ 
which we had to cross in a ferry boat, and stay 
at a house, such as it was, that belonged to a 
flalf Breed, during the night. I was very much 
fatiguedj but rested tolerabte well*. 



Vicissitudes of Life. 



79 



hi the morning we started by ourselves soon 
after we had got some refreshment, and travel- 
led on through the day until towards evening, 
when we met a company of Indians, who had 
been preparing their camp for the night. This 
struck me with some considerable dread, and to 
add to that we had to cross a dreadful slough, 
called by travellers, " hell hole" This place 
consisted of thin mud, so that horses after they 
were stripped of saddle and harness, could swim 
through ; and then it was necessary that some 
one should be on the other side, so as to prevent 
horses from running away. But we had no one 
with us to assist, and we could not tell what we 
should do : yet so it happened, the Indians had 
made a temporay bridge of poles and canes, to 
get their horses over, which served for us to get 
over upon also. 

We were then under the necessity of prepa- 
ring for jthe night, as it was almost sun-set, and 
we were not more than half a mile from the In- 
dian's camp, which was quite alarming to me ; 
but there was no alternative, there we must stay* 
Accordingly, Lorenzo made a good fire, and 
provided a plenty of cane for our horses, and 
made ready our little repast ; by this time it w r as 
dark — ^ve then lay down to try to compose our- 
selves to rest ; but my mind was too much occu- 
pied by gloomy reflections to sleep, while I 
could hear Indian's dogs barking, and the hors= 
es' bells gingie, although it was a beautiful night. 
The moon shone through the trees with great 
splendour, and the stars twinkling around ; and 
if my mind had been in a right frame, it would 



30 



Vicissitudes of Life. 



have been a beautiful prospect, to me, but I was 
so much afraid, that it quite deprived me of any 
satisfaction, while Lorenzo would have slept 
sweetly if I had not been so fearful, and fre- 
quently disturbed him — I longed for day-light to 
appear; and as soon as it dawned we started 
and travelled a long and tedious day still, in 
this dreary wilderness. We expected to have 
got to a man's house, living on the Chickasaha 
River, who had an Indian family, before night; 
accordingly we came to a creek, which Lorenzo 
took to be that river : I felt very much rejoiced, 
as I hoped to find a house which we could have 
the privilege of sleeping in — but we were disap- 
pointed in our expectation — for when we got 
over the creek we found there an Indian village : 
we enquired how far it was to this man's house, 
they told us by signs it was ten miles, and it was 
now almost sun-set. We started on again, and 
went perhaps half a mile, when the path became 
divided into so many little divisions, that we 
could not tell which to take. Lorenzo went 
back to an Indian's house, and requested an old 
Indian to go and pilot us to Nales — the old man 
hesitated at first, but after understanding that 
he should be well paid, he took his blanket and 
wrapping it about his head, he started on before 
us, and we followed after — by this time it was 
almost sunset, but we kept on : there was a 
moon, though it was obscured by a thin cloud, 
so that it was not of so muoh use to us as it 
would otherwise have been. We had not got 
more than three miles from the Iadian's house 
before it was quite dark — I was very mjueh afraid 



kidssiiudes of Life. 81 

of Our pilot ; I strove to lift my heart to God for 
protection, and feit in some degree supported.— 
Our way lay through a large swamp, intermixed 
with cane, which made it appear very gloomy ; 
but our pilot was almost equal to a wolf to find 
his way through this wild unfrequented spot of 
the earth— he could wind about and keep the 
path where I would have thought it was almost 
impassible; but having travelled until ten or 
eleven o'clock, we arrived at the river : but how 
to get across, that was the next difficulty — we 
must cross a ferry, and the boat was on the other 
side — Lorenzo requested the old Indian to go 
over and fetch it, but he would not move one 
step until he promised him more money : this 
was the second or third time he had raised his 
wages after he started, to keep him on, until we 
could reach the place that we wished for. How- 
ever, after he found that he would get more mo- 
ney, he started, and went up the river, and found 
some way across : in a short time he had the 
boat over, and we went into it with our horses, 
and the old man set us over. This was perhaps 
eleven o'clock at night — we came to the house — 
the family was gone to bed, but the woman got 
up, and although she was half Indian, she treat- 
ed me with more attention than many would 
have done that had been educated among the 
more refined inhabitants of the earth ! ! 

I felt quite comfortable, and slept sweetly 
through the remainder part of the night. In 
the morning we started again, being then near 
thirty miles from the settlements of Tombigby* 
We passed through some delightful country that 



Vicissitudes of Life. 



day, and about two or three o'clock in the after- 
noon we reached the first house that was inhab- 
ited by white people. It made my heart rejoice 
to meet again with those that spoke a language 
which I understood — and above all, to find some 
that loved the Lord ! 

Lorenzo held several meetings in this neigh- 
bourhood that were profitable, I trust, to some. 
We stayed here two nights, and a good part of 
three days, when we took our leave of them, 
and departed on our journey through the settle- 
ments of Bigby y which extends seventy or eigh- 
ty miles in length, through a rich and fer- 
tile soil. The settlements were flourishing, and 
the people in some parts hospitable. We arriv- 
ed at Fort St. Stephens, situated on the Tombig- 
by river — it is on an eminence, and makes a 
handsome appearance, although it is but small. 
The river is navigable up to this place. It is a 
beautiful river ; the water is as clear as chrystal, 
and the land very fertile — well situated for cultn 
vation. This will be a delightful country, no 
doubt, in time ! 

We got fresh supplies at this place, and made 
but a few hours stop before we started on our 
journey, and crossed the river in a ferry-boat, — 
this was after twelve o'clock — we travelled un- 
til late, and came to a small cabin, where we got 
permission to stay for the night, which we did. 
In the morning we started very early — saw 
some scattering houses, and at night we got to 
the Allabama river, where there was a ferry, kept 
by a man who was a mixture, where we stayed 
that night. This river is beautiful, almost be- 



Vicissitudes of Life. 



83 



yond description. On it s pleasant bank stood 
Fort Mints, that has since been destroyed by 
the savage Creek Indians, with those that fied to 
it for protection ! 

We were now in the bounds of the Creek 
nation : we were still without any company.™ 
This day we struck the road that had been cut 
out by the order of the President, from the state 
of Georgia to Fort Stoddard. This made it more 
pleasant travelling, and then we frequently met 
people removing from the States to the Tombig- 
by, and other parts of the Missisippi territory. 

We travelled betwixt thirty and forty miles 
that day, and came to a creek called Murder 
creek : it got this name in consequence of a man 
having been murdered there. This circum- 
stance made it appear very gloomy to me. But 
we made the necessary preparations for the 
night, and lay down to rest : although I was so 
much afraid, I got so weary at times, that I 
could not help sleeping. About twelve o'clock 
it began to rain so fast, that it was like to put out 
our fire, and we were under the necessity of get- 
ting our horses and starting, as we had nothing 
to screen us from the rain. The road having 
been newly cut out, the fresh marked trees serv- 
ed for a guide — there was a moon, but it was 
shut in by clouds. However, we travelled on 
ten or twelve miles and it ceased raining : I was 
very wet and cold, and felt the need of a fire, 
more perhaps, than I had ever done in my life 
before ! 

At last we came in sight of a camp, which 
would have made my heart glad, but I feared 



84? Vicissitudes of Life. 

iest it was Indians ; yet to my great satisfaction, 
when we came to it we found an old man and 
boy, with what little they possessed, going to 
the country that we had left behind, and had en- 
camped in this place, and with their blankets 
had made a comfortable tent, and had a good 
fire. This was very refreshing to us, as we were 
much fatigued. We made some coffee, and dri- 
ed our clothes a little — by this time it was day- 
light ; we then started on our way again. I 
thought my situation had been as trying as almost 
could be, but I found that there was others w T ho 
were worse off than myself. 

We came across a family who were moving 
to the Missisippi — they had a number of small 
children ; and although they had something to 
cover them like a tent, yet they suffered consid- 
erably from the rain the night before ; and to add 
to that, the woman told me they had left an aged 
father at a man's house by the name of Manack, 
one or two days before, and that she expected 
he was dead perhaps by that time. They were 
as black almost as the natives, and the woman 
seemed very much disturbed at their situation. 
I felt to pity her — I thought her burthen was 
really heavier than mine. We kept on, and 
about the middle of the day we got to the hou?e 
where the poor man had been left with his wife, 
son, and daughter. A few hours before we got 
there he had closed his eyes in death — they had 
laid him out, and expected to bury him that 
evening; but they could not get any thing to 
make a coffin of, only split stuff to make a kiad 
of a box, and ?o put him in the ground ? 



Vicissitudes of Life. S5 

I thought this would have been such a dis- 
tress to me, had it been my case, that it made 
my heart ache for the old lady. But I found 
that she was of that class of beings that could 
not be affected with any thin£ so much as the 
loss of property ; for she began immediately to 
calculate the expense they had been at by this 
detention — and I do not recollect that I saw her 
shed one tear on the occasion. 

We stayed but a short time and continued 
on our journey. There we got a supply of 
bread, such as it was ; and there we met with 
three men that were travelling our road, the 
first company that Ave had found since we left 
the Missisippi, being now not more than one 
third of the way through the Creek nation. We 
left this place betwixt one and two o'clock. 

I was very glad of some company, for we had 
been very lonely before. We travelled on with- 
out any thing particular occurring for three 
days, until we arrived at the Chattakochy river, 
where we met with some difficulty in getting 
over, as the boat was gone. This was early in 
the morning, before sun rise, that we came to 
the rirer; and there we were detained until ten 
o'clock, and then had to hire an Indian to take a 
canoe, and first carry our baggage over, and then 
swim our horses over. This hindered us until 
near eleven o'clock before we got ready to start 
again. We were in hopes of getting to Hawk- 
ingSy the agents, that night — but being so long 
detained at the river, we were obliged to stay at 
an Indiaris camp, our company having stopped 
before. 

n 



S6 



Vicissitudes of Life. 



I had got a fall from my horse and hurt my- 
self considerable ; and I was as much fatigued 
and worn out by travelling as ever I was in my 
life. I thought sometimes that I never should 
stand it, to get through the wilderness — but Pro- 
vidence gave me strength of body beyond what 
I could have expected. We left the Indian's 
camp in the morning, and reached Col. Hawking's 
that night. 

This was within about thirty miles of the set- 
tlements of Georgia. I felt grateful to the God 
of all grace, for his tender care over us, tyhile in 
this dreary part of the land — where our ears had 
been saluted by the hideous yells of the wolf— 
and had been surrounded by the savages, more 
wild and fierce than they ; and yet we were pre- 
served from all danger, and brought through in 
safety. 

We got to the river that divides the state of 
Georgia from the Indian boundaries, about three 
or four o'clock, and got into the white settle- 
ments, which was very satisfactory to me. We 
got to a friend's house that night about dark, 
where we were received kindly ! This was like 
a cordial to my heart, as it had been a long time 
since I had met with a friend. 

We stayed that night with them, and the next 
day we got to a friend's house within twelve or 
fourteen miles from MfflcdgcviUe, the metropolis 
of Georgia. There Lorenzo had left a small 
waggon, six weeks or two months before — here 
he exchanged the two horses we had for one 
that would work ia a carriage, and went on to 
MUledgeville, where we stayed about a week ~ 



Vicissitudes of Life. 



87 



and found many kind friends. This was some- 
time in December. 

While we were here the earthquakes began, 
which alarmed the people very much. It was 
truly an awful scene, to feel the house shaking 
under you as sensibly as you could feel the mo- 
tion of a vessel, when it was moving over the 
water ; and the trees as it w ere dancing on the 
hills — all nature seemed in commotion. This 
was enough to make the stoutest heart to trem- 
ble ! But when the people get so hardened, 
that mercies nor judgments cannot move them, 
we may conclude they are in a bad way ! This 
is the case with too many. O that the day 
would arrive, when the inhabitants of the earth 
would love and serve the Lord ! 

We left Millcdgcvillc, and went to a friend's 
house, where I stayed three or four weeks, while 
Lorenzo travelled the upper counties, and thro* 
the New Purchase — and offered free salvation 
to crowded congregations. He then returned 
to where I was, and we started on our journey 
to Virginia. Lorenzo preached at several pla- 
ces before we got to Lotiisville, and had a chain 
of appointments given out, which extended to 
North-Carolina. We came to Louisville, intend- 
ing to stay only a few days; but there came on 
such a rain, that it raised the water-courses to 
such a degree, that it was impossible for us to 
travel for near two weeks — thi3 brought him be- 
hind his appointments : but it gave hin>an op- 
portunity of preaching to the people in Louisville 
a number of times. 

As sQon as we could get along we started, and 



3 8 Vicissitudes of Life* 



with some difficulty we overtook the appoint- 
ments — but not without disappointing three or 
four congregations. We travelled on from Geor- 
gia to Carolina in the cold inclement weather, 
such as we have in January and February ; and 
Lorenzo preached once and twice in the day — 
the people seemed quite attentive all the way 
that we came. 

I was very anxious to get to Lynchburg, as we 
had some thoughts of striving to get a small 
house built there, that we might have a place 
of retreat in case of necessity — Lorenzo still ex- 
pecting to travel and preach as long as his 
strength would admit. But we intended to go 
on to Connecticut, to his father's, where I ex- 
pected to have stayed for some time, and then 
return to Lynchburg; but the Providence of 
God seemed not to favour our design. 

We arrived in Lynchburg about the seven- 
teenth of March, where we calculated to stay 
but a few days, and then go on to his father's — 
after making some preparations for building our 
little house. However, we had not been in 
Lynchburg but about one week, before I was 
taken very ill, and confined to my bed, attended 
by two doctors, Jennings and Owen, who said my 
affliction was an inflammation of the liver — 
which confined me for three months to my bed, 
and was expected to die. However, after hav- 
ing gone through a course of physic, I got so as 
to be able to sit up and ride a little; but wa? ve- 
ry feeble. My sickness had detained Lorenzo 
from going to the North, as he had intended, — 
and after counting the expence of building, he 



Vicissitudes of Life. 



89 



found that it would not be in his power to ac- 
complish his design in building a house, without 
involving himself in debt, which he was not wil- 
ling to do — accordingly he gave it up, and conclu- 
ded still to continue as we had been, without 
house or home, and leave the event in the hand 
of Providence ; knowing we had been provided 
for all our lives, from a never-failing source — 
and we felt willing in some degree to trust HIM 
still ! 

We were still at Lynchburg ; and had been 
there for more than three months — and the 
friends were very kind to me in my sickness. 

Lorenzo wished to take me to his fathers ; 
but my health was in such a state that it was im- 
possible for me to travel. 

There was a man who lived iu BuckingJiam 
county, about five-and-twenty miles from Lynch- 
burg—we had but a small acquaintance with 
him: he, coming to Lynchburg, saw Lorenzo, 
and invited him to come and stay at his house 
a while. He told him he had no objections, but 
was thankful to him for his kindness, though lie 
saw no way of conveyance. Mr. John M. WaUc- 
er, for that was his name, told him he would send 
his carriage for me the next week, which he 
did, and we went to his house. This was a kind 
family. I had not been there but a little more 
than a week, before I was again confined to my 
bed — and it was expect!ed that I must die. They 
gave every attention to me they could have 
done had I been their own child — may the great 
Master reward them in this world with every 
ii 2 



90 



Vicissitudes of Life. 



needed blessing, and in the world to come, a 
crown of never-fading glory. 

My Lorenzo attended me day and night al- 
most from this time, until near Christmas. By 
this time I had got a little better, so as to be 
taken and wrapped in blankets and put into a 
close carriage, and carried about half a mile to 
another dear friend's house, Major William Du- 
val, where I was treated as if 1 had been a near 
relation — and provided with every thing neces- 
sary to make me comfortable; and they wished 
me to stay with them ail the winter. This was 
matter of thankfulness to us. 

I had got so as to walk about my room a lit- 
tle — and Lorenzo, wishing to take a tour to the 
North, he made the necessary arrangements, and 
about the twenty-fifth of December he left me 
and started to' Richmond, on his way to the city 
of Washington, where he stayed for some time, 
and then on to New-York ; and so on to his 
father's, in Connecticut. 

He expected to return in March, but did not 
until May. I stayed at brother DuvaVs, partak- 
ing of their hospitality, until some time in March, 
when brother Walker's family seemed so solici- 
tous that i should go to their house again, and 
sister Walker coming in her carriage herself, she 
being very delicate too — 1 concluded to go. — 
The old gentleman not being at home at the 
time, or I expect he would not have consented 
for me to have left his house, until Lorenzo re- 
turned ! 

I feel under greater obligations to that dear 
family than I can express. His wife was a love- 



Vicissitudes of Life. 



9i 



ly woman. May the Lord reward them — for it 
is not in my power ! 

I went home with sister Walker. I was at 
this time much better, but in a few days after I 
had got to brother Walker's I was again attack- 
ed with my old complaint, a pain in my side 
very severe. I applied to the remedies that 
had been made use of, and that was bleeding 
and blistering, but to little purpose apparently. 

I felt very much discouraged ; as I thought it 
was more than probable that my time would be 
but short in this world of woe — aud I wished 
much to see my companion once more in time — 
but strove to be resigned to the will of the Lord. 

My cry was — Lord, help me to be willing to 
suffer all thy goodness sees best to inflict. My 
pain was at times very severe, and then I would 
get a little relief. I was taken about the twen- 
ty-seventh of March, but three or four days later 
than it was the Spring before, when I was first 
attacked. 

I had received letters from Lorenzo, which 
informed me that he could not get back before 
May. My strength was continually declining; 
and to appearance, I would shortly be an inhab- 
itant of the other world, 31 y mind was various- 
ly exercised — it was sometimes cast down, and 
at other times much comforted- This long and 
tedious sickness taught me a great lesson, as it 
related to the uncertainty of earthly enjoyments 
than any thing that I had met with before. My 
desire for temporalities was gone — at least any 
mo?e than was strictly necessary to make me 
comfortable — and the Lord that cared for us had 



92 Vicissitudes of Lift* 

provided me with the kindest friends, where 1 
was treated with the greatest attention. 

Lorenzo returned in May, as he had wrote me 
3ie should. I was at that time unable to get out 
<of my bed without assistance. I had wrote to 
him to New-York, before I got so bad, that I was 
threatened with another attack. He had made 
ail the speed that he could, and the day that he 
got to the place where I was, he travelled near 
seventy miles. 

I was much rejoiced to see him once more— 
the God of all grace had granted my request, 
and returned him in safety to me again. He 
stayed with me for several weeks, and every 
means was made use of to restore me to health 
that could be — but they all seemed to prove 
abortive. Dr. Jennings saw me several times 
after my last attack, and advised the use of mer- 
cury, as the only remedy that could be of any 
service to me. I followed his advice, and was 
reduced very low, from the disorder and medi- 
cine together-— 30 that it was thought by all who 
$aw me, that I must die. 

I strove to sink into the will of God; know- 
ing whatever was best for me would be given — 
yet I could not divest myself of a desire to get 
Well, an(' live a little longer: not to enjoy what 
is commonly called the pleasures of the world, for 
my prospects were but small at that time — but 
to live more to the glory of God, and be better 
prepared to join the blood-washed company 
above, when I should be called for. 

Lorenzo had at this time gone to the low lands, 
ft> fulfil some appointments which had been giv- 



Vicissitudes of Life* 



en out by some of the preachers, which took 
him about three weeks. I was very ill while 
he was gone — about the time that he returned 
I began to mend a little, so that I could set up in 
the bed The Doctor had advised Lorenzo to 
carry me to the White Sulphur Springs, as it wac 
the most likely means to restore my health. Af- 
ter a few weeks, I had got so as to be taken and 
put into a chair and carried as far as Lynchburg* 
to Doctor Jennings. We had then a chair and 
horse of our own — but our horse's back had got 
injured, so that we were under the necessity of 
staying in Lynchburg until he should get well, 
so that we could get on to the Springs. 

We were detained for some time before our 
horse got so that we could use him. I still was 
very feeble in body — I could not walk one hun- 
dred yards without assistance. Our horse had 
been kept quite high for near three weeks, and 
his back had got tolerable well ; so that we were 
about to make a start, and try to get on to the 
Springs — but although our horse had brought Lo- 
renzo all the way from New-England, and down 
to the Low r Lands of Virginia and the Carolinas, 
and back again to Buckingham, and from there 
to Lynchburg in the chair, and appeared very 
gentle ; yet when he put him in the chair to 
prepare to start for the Springs, he began to act 
like as if he was frightened, and we were appre- 
hensive he could not be managed by him, con- 
sidering my weak and helpless state ; and the 
road through which we must travel was very 
rough and mountainous, consequently he sold 
Mm on the spot, and hired a hack from aquaker 



9| Vicissitudes qfl^ife* 

living in that plaee : he paid four dollars a-day 
for the use of it for ten days, besides bearing all 
the expenses. We left Lynchburg in the morn- 
ing, and went the first day to New-London, about 
fifteen miles, and I stood the travel much better' 
than I expected I could. There Lorenzo 
preached to the people, as he had some appoint- 
ments sent on before him ; and we stayed all 
night. The next day we went to Liberty, where 
he had another appointment—and from there 
we went to a friend's house, where we were 
treated kindly — and they called in some of their 
neighbours, and we had a comfortable little 
meeting. 

The next day to Fincastle, where we stayed 
all night, and Lorenzo preached twice. We 
were now within a few miles of the mountains, 
which was in some places so craggy and steep, 
that it was with difficulty we could ascend them; 
and then we would come into a valley, where 
he soil would appear as charming and beautiful 
as the mountains were rugged and barren. We 
Travelled on, and met with nothing particular un- 
til we arrived at the Springs whither we were 
bound. 

The Springs are situated in Greenbrier coun- 
ty, about three miles the other side of the Alle- 
gany mountain, and from Lynchburg upward of 
one hundred miles. It is a pleasant place where 
the man lives who has rented the Springs, and 
has built a number of cabins, perhaps fifty or six- 
ty ; and the}' were placed in a regular form, and 
^he yard inclosed, and a beautiful grass plot with 



Vicissitudes of Life, 



9b 



handsome shade trees, for the accommodation ok 
those that attend the Springs. 

They have a large house that stands near the 
centre, where the hoarders dine, &c. 

We went there, but the person that had hired 
the springs would not take us in ! he pretended 
they were so full, that they could not. But they 
took more after we went there than they had 
before. But we got in at a house perhaps a 
mile from the spring. I was better satisfied 
with this situation than I would have been at 
the place — for I could have the water brought 
twice in the daj r ; and there 1 w r as in a more re 
tired place. I stayed there near three weeks, 
Lorenzo was there part of the time, and part of 
the time he was travelling through the neigh- 
bourhoods and preaching to the people. He 
held several meetings at the springs, by the re- 
quest of those that were attending there. There 
was persons from various parts : some for plea 
sure, and others for the restoration of health: — 
they were people that moved in the higher cir 
cle, and were very gay— but they w r ere quite at- 
tentive when he spake to them of heavenly 
things, except one, who war, a most abandoned 
character — he thought to frighten him by threat^ 
ening his life, and abusing him in a scandalous 
manner : but the enemy w as defeated in this— 
for the gentleman that kept the springs, and 
others, soon stopped his mouth, so that he had 
peace ever after. 

There were none just about this place that 
knew much about religion, but the}' appeared 
anxious to hear the glorious sound of the gospel 



96 Vicissitudes of Life. 



% I began to get my strength in some measure ; 
so that I could walk about considerably well — 
There was to be a Camp-Meeting held near Sa- 
lem, in Botetourt county, which was a distance 
of seventy or eighty miles ; and we were in the 
mountains, without horse or carriage, and how 
we could get out we could not tell. But Provi- 
dence, that had so often opened our way where 
we couid see none, made a way at this time : 
there was a friend that was a Methodist who liv- 
ed at the Sweet Springs, a distance, perhaps, of 
eighteen miles, from the white sulphur, who had 
requested Lorenzo to come over there and 
preach : he told him he would, provided he 
could send a couple of horses for us to ride. I 
had, by this time, got so well, that we thought I 
might be able to ride that distance oil horse- 
back. 

Accordingly the man sent the horses; and 
we started and arrived at his house some time in 
the afternoon. We stayed at the Sweet Springs 
three or four days, and Lorenzo preached seve- 
ral times : we then, by the assistance of friends, 
were enable to get on to Fincastle, that was 
within twenty miles. We came with the 
preachers that were going to Camp-Meeting. 

Here we got a chair from a friend to convey 
us part of the way from this to the place where 
the meeting was to be held, to another friend's, 
who let us have his horse and gig to carry us the 
remainder part of the way. W hen we got to the 
camp-ground it was nearly dark ; but there we 
met with some of our old acquaintance, which 
made my be^rt to rejoice. The preachers were 



Vicissitudes of Life. 



very friendly. There I met with my dear 
friend, sister Dannington, who perhaps enjoys as 
great communion with God, as any person I ev- 
er saw. She was very kind to me, — and I felt 
it was good to meet with those that truly love 
-and serve the Lord. VV e staid at the Camp- 
Meeting until the day before it broke. It w r as a 
; tolerable good time — there was a eumber of souls 
converted to God : may they continue to walk in 
the narrow happy road, until they reacir the 
peaceful shores of Canaan ! 

We left the camp ground in company with a 
preacher and his family for Blacksburg, near 
the Yellow Springs, so called, where I was ad- 
vised to go, and try the water. This was near 
thirty miles from Salem — here we stayed for 
two or three weeks, and I made use of the waters, 
which was, I think, beneficial to me. 

We got acquainted with a gentleman from the 
Low Lands of Virginia, who was at the Springs 
with his Wife on the account of her health. — ■ 
These people were possessed of a large proper- 
ty, and but one child — and they also possessed 
£s great a share of hospitality as any that I ever 
met with. They understanding our situation, 
gave me an invitation to go home and spend the 
winter with thern— which I thankfully accepted, 
w hile Lorenzo took quite a different course to 
the Western country, intending to visit the Louis* 
2m&, before his return : but the Indian War 
breaking out, flung some obstacle in the way, 
which were unavoidable : hence, he sent on a 
deed of relinquishment to those that had the pos- 
session of the old mill, which had made such a 
i 



OS 



f lcissitudes of Life 



noise in the world — we had heard that they had 
got it, or rather built a new one, to do some busi- 
ness, but Lorenso had never reaped any benefit 
from any thing that ever he claimed in that 
country, and I do not expect he ever will. 

Here ends the history of his reported vast pos- 
sessions in tbe Missisippi. 

We parted at the Springs. I was to go home 
with brother Booth, the friend from Virginia, 
while he pursued his journey to the West*— 
Brother Dimningtmi, who lived at Salem, happen- 
ed to be at the Springs at this time — he took me 
in his chair, and carried me to his house, and 
brother Booth came down the next day. His 
wife was very unwell, which detained us in the 
mountains for six or seven weeks. 

I staid with sister Dunnington, until sister 
Booth was able to travel : Ave then started for 
Brunswick, their place of residence, where I 
was treated with the greatest kindness. 

Lorenzo went on to the Western States, and 
from thence to Carolina, and so on to Virginia, 
to where I was ; after an absence of near four 
months. 

He in tin's tour visited about forty counties, 
and travelled near two thousand miles. He staid 
with me about ten days, and then started on 
another route through North and South-Carolina 
to Charlestofi^nd visited many places, preaching 
from one to four times in a day, until he return- 
ed, which was about seven weeks. He got back 
to me onJFriday night; he preached on Sunday, 
and on Monday morning we prepared to start 
for Peter sbjrg- 



Vkissiludts of Life* 



99 



March 8th, 1814, we bid adieu to my kind 
friends in Brunsnrick, where I had found an asy- 
lum from the cold winter for near five months, 
whilst my Lorenzo was ranging through the 
Western and Southern States, to call sinners to 
repentance. The morning that we parted with 
that dear family will he a memorable one to me ; 
it was like parting with my nearest friends. May 
the Lord bless them with all su£h spiritual and 
temporal mercies, as shall prepare them for a seat 
at the right hand of the Majesty on high. 

Brother Booth had furnished us with two hor- 
ses, a gig, and servant, to go with us to Peters- 
burg— and there we were to take his carriage and 
continue on to Baltimore. But when we got to 
Petersburg, the carriage which was designed we 
should take from there, was taken to pieces for 
repairing, so that we coald not obtain it for our 
journey, and hence were under the necessity of 
taking the public stage for Richmond, which was 
something disagreeable to me : but I strove to 
put my trust in that hand which had dealt out so 
liberally to me in days that were past by. 

The roads were very bad, being so much cut 
up by the large heavy waggons that were on the 
road, laden with cotton and other produce for 
market. 

We arrived in Richmond between two and 
three o'clock, and was received with kindness 
by brother West and his companion. There we 
met several preachers, who treated us with 
friendship, which was very pleasant to me. O 
how sweet it is to meet with those that love and 
serve the great Master in sincerity and in truth ! 



100 



Vicissitudes of Life. 



And if it is so pleasant here, what will it be 
when we shall meet in that sweet world of 
Rest, where we shall see eye to eye — and be no 
more subject to erroneous conclusions, as it re- 
lates to our brethren ! O that I may be enabled 
to fight my passage through, and meet with the 
dear friends of Jesus on the happy banks of ev- 
erlasting deliverance ! 

We stayed in Richmond from Wednesday un- 
til Monday morning. Lorenzo hired a hack at 
the rate of five dollars per day to bring us on to 
Fredericksburg, which cost us near 40 dollars- 
but we came on in safety. I felt my heart often 
drawn out in prayer to God for protection while 
we were on the road, that He would attend us 
on our journey. We were received with kind- 
ness also at this place by our old friend, brother 
Green, and his family — where we stayed for 
some days. 

Lorenzo held several meetings, and then took 
a seat in the public stage for Alexandria, where 
we arrived ©n Sunday, between two and three 
o'clock. We stopped at a public house, where 
the people that travel in the stage are accommo- 
date^ — but did not stay longer than to deposit 
our baggage, and then to go in search of some 
friends where we had put up, when we were in 
that place some years before, by the name of 
Slone. We walked down the street for some dis- 
tance, and as it happened, a gentleman and lady 
was standing at the door where Lorenzo had 
formed some acquaintance the preceding winter, 
and invited us to come in, which we did — and 
found a pleasant asylum, where we could rest 



Vicissitudes of Life. lui 

iron) our fatigue of travelling in the stage. O 
how sweet it is to meet with kind friends, after 
having been confined with those that neither 
feared God nor regard man ! 

We stayed at Mr. Warier* s two nights, and 
then by the request of a family of quakers, by 
the name of Scoolfield, we spent one night with 
them. It was a very pleasant time to me — they 
were remarkably kind and friendly ; and the 
gentleman in the morning took me in his chair 
and carried me to the city of Washington, which 
was about six miles from Alexandria* to another 
friend's, where my Lorenzo had found akind re 
ception a little more than twelve months before, 
and who had requested that he would bring me 3 
if ever he should travel that way again. 

Lorenzo had stayed behind to find some con- 
veyance for our trunk and other baggage : in a 
short time he found a return hack, which he en^ 
gaged, and arrived in a short time after me, and 
was received with affection by the family*—- 
They were by name Friends, and they were 
so by nature. 

We stayed with them three nights, and re- 
ceived ninny marks of friendship from them — 
for which may the great Master reward them in 
the day when he cometh to make up his jewels ? 
They had been married for seventeen years, and 
had no children, except one little adopted 
daughter, of the lady's brother, which they had 
taken as their own. They doted on her : she 
was taken sick the day after I went there ; and 
the second day at night they thought she was 
dying, and the poor little woman was in great 
i 2 



102 



Vicissitudes of Life. 



anguish of soul on the account. I did not ex 
pect ihe child would live until morning. We 
hud engaged our passage in the stage tor that 
morning at five o'clock, and were up at three. 
The laniiiy had slept very little for two nights ; 
but when we arose in the morning, which was 
at an early hour, to prepare for our journey, the 
dear iittle child was still living, hut looked like 
she had almost finished her course, and would 
shortly be conveyed to the realms of peace. — 
Brother Fric?id went with us to the stage-house, 
where we parted. We came on to Baltimore t, 
where we stayed two nights with brother Ha- 
gcrty ; and Lorenzo preached twice in the town. 
We then took the steam-boat for Pluladelphia, 
where we arrived in about twenty-six or eight, 
hours, where we tarried from Tuesday until Fri- 
day — there Lorenzo preached t wo evenings in 
the African* church. We then left Philadel- 
phia, and continued on in the steam-boat to 
Trenton, where we took the stage for Neyv-Ycrk: 
we staid at Princeton one night, and the next 
evening we arrived at the city of New-York, 
and came to brother Morris D'Camp's — from 
whose house I started when going to the Missis- 
ifpi — he then lived in Troy — -after an absence of 
about five years and six months from the time 
we started, and from whom we have received 
many favours. May that God, who is able and 
willing to reward those that will be kind, for 
their benevolence bless him and all my dear 
friends, for their kindness to me — and in partic- 
ular for the last nine years of my life 



SUPPLEMENTARY REFLECTIONS, 



I LEFT Lynchburg on the 19th of July, and 
i came to brother Walker's, in Buckingham, where 
I was taken worse; and stayed there three 
months — and then I went to brother DuvaPs, 
where I stayed about five months, and then re- 
turned to brother Walker's again, where I con- 
tinued near two months more — making ten 
months in all. May the Lord give them the re- 
ward that is promised to those that give a cup of 
cold water to a disciple, in the name of a disci- 
ple, for their kindness to unworthy me in this 
day of adversity. 

January 25th. I this morning have been 
much relieved from melancholy reflections that 
employed my mind through the last night, as it 
relates to Lorenzo; as I had not heard from him 
for several weeks, which gave me much uneasi 
ness, and made me feel my situation, which is 
something lonely : but wiiat most distressed me 
was, my heart being so prone to distrust the pro- 
tection of Providence over us, which I had so 
much reason to rely upon — for his tender care 
hath been over me from my earliest days until 
now, and hath brought me through dangers seen 
and unseen.™ 



Through various deaths my soul hath led ; 

And turn'd aside the f&al hour, 
.\nd lifted up my sinking* head " 



10* Supplemental*) Ilefiechons. 



O that I may ever feel resigned to the will oi 
God 1 The day will shortly arrive when w r e 
must bid adieu to all sublunary things. May the 
Lord help me to tear my heart from earth away 
for Jesus to receive. I long to be dead to all 
below the sun, and have my affections placed on 
things above, where sorrow will be turned into 
joy — where we shall view our Saviour, who hath 
borne all our sins in his own body on the tree, 
without a dinming veil between ! Lord, enable 
me to say — 

V Forever here my rest shall be, 

Close to thy bleeding side ; 
This all my hops and and all my pu 

For me the Saviour dyM. 
My dying Saviour and my God, 
* ^J^ountain for guilt and sin, • . -. < * ' 
Sprinkle me ever with thy blood. 

And cleans^ and keep me clean." 

January 26th. My heart longs to be nlted 
with love and gratitude tp God, for his mercy to 
me : and that through his grace strengthening 
me, I hope to overcome all the evils that may 
hefai me. whether outward or inward. O that I 
may consider that days are uncertain here be- 
low- — and know not the hour when the Son of 
Man may call for me; whether it will be at 
midnight, or at the cock's crowing — so it stands 
me in hand to watch and pray, that I may not be 
surprised when He shall come, but be ready to 
enter in with the Bridegrom to the marriage 
supper of the Lamb! How sweet *est will he. 



Supplementary Reflections, 105 

after the toilsome "journey of life" is over. — 
We shall then be received to those joys that 
have been purchased at so dear a rate; — it cost 
no lens than the precious blood of the Son of 
God ! O what a ransom ! That it should be 
neglected by those who ought to benefit by it — 
What a pity ! O that they may take timely 
warning, and flee to the out-stretched arms of 
the Saviour, and hide them, while the storms ot* 
life be past, that they may be guided safe into 
the haven of eternal rest. 

February 7th, 1813, Suiidaj-— -1 feel this 
morning my spirits are very much depressed — I 
fear that trouble awaits me. O that I may be 
prepared for whatever may be the will of God 
concerning me, whether prosperity er adversity. 
May I ever lay passive at HIS feet, and feel a 
disposition to say, Not my will, but thine, be 
done. I am assured that this is a state of trial, 
wherein we must stand to our arms, or we shall 
' suffer loss— for we are surrounded with enemies 
on every side, within and without, that are 
watching to do us mischief. O that I may be on 
my guard, and watch unto prayer, that the Lord 
may be my fore front and rear ward ! and altho' 
troubles should assail me and dangers affright, I 
may be enabled to fly to the arms of Jesus, and 
find shelter and consolation there ! For he hath 
said, that he will carry the lambs in his bosom ? 
and gently lead those that are with young: — O 
that I may be one of those that can claim this 
promise and protection from him. I am left as 
one alone in the earth — but if \ can only put my 
trust in him, I need not fear„ — Although danger? 



106 Supplemental 1 :! RtJltcUojis. 

stand thick through all the ground, yet if the 
Lord is my shield, I shall not fear what 
man can do unto me. But I too often sink 
into a state of despondency, as my situation 
reems to he very gloomy at present : — not that I 
am in want of an}' thing to make me comforta- 
ble, as it relates to living — for I am placed in a 
kind family, for which I desire to be thankful — 
but my concern for my companion, who hath 
been gene for near two months, and I have not 
heard from him but once — which fills my heaJt 
with fear, lest something hath befallen him. O 
that God may preserve him from those that 
would do him harm-and may I be enabled to give 
him up into the hands of God ; knowing that he 
will do all things well: and if we meet no more 
on earth, may we n;eet in glory > where we shall 
he reunited never to part again — and receive the 
crown of glory that is laid up for those that are 
faithful to the Lord, who bought their pardon on 
the tree ! 

February 9th. I am still alive, and enjoy a 
tolerable degree of health — for which I desire 
to be thankful : for it is more than I once ex- 
pected, from the state of my health. 

J expected that I should have been an inhabi- 
tant of eternity before this — but the Lord hath 
preserved me for a longer space ! O that I may 
improve the precious moments as they pass, to 
the glory of God, and for the good of my im- 
mortal soul — that when time shall be no more 
with me, I may be received into glory, where 
aorrow will be turned into joy : where I m\y 



Supplement aru Rtfieclions. 107 



join the blood-washed throng in singing hallelu- 
jahs to God and the Lamb for ever ! 

" And then my happy soul shall tell, 
My Jesus hath done all things well." 

February 15th. I am still alive, and on pray- 
ing ground — O that I may improve the precious 
moments as they pass, to the glory of God and 
the good of my own soul. My heart is too lit- 
tle engaged with God ! O that I may never 
rest until I am filled with leve to God and air 
mankind. May the Lord prepare me for what- 
ever awaits me through this unfriendly world — 
for I expect that troubles will be my lot, while 
here, more or less, until I pass over Jordan! — 
God grant fiiat they may end then; and for 
them may I receive a crow n of glory, though un- 
worthy. May God help me to natch and pray 
without ceasing, that I may be in a state of rcadi. 
mss for whatever may befal me ! 

t{ How happy every child ofgrace, 

Who knows his sins forgiven . 
This earth, he cries, is not my place, 

I seek my place in hi^tex, 

A country far from mortal sight, 

Yet, O by faith, I see—* 
The land of rest, the saint's delight ; 

The heaven prepar'd for me" 



March 12, 1813. I have reason to Hess and 
praise God, that it is as well with me a* it is — 



108 Supplementary Reflections. 



that I have some desire still to devote my life 
and all that I have to the service of that God 
who hath preserved and brought me to the pre- 
sent moment. O that every power of my soul 
and body may be, without reserve, devoted to 
him. He hath been my Preserver and kind 
Benefactor from my earliest days until the pre- 
sent time ! that my heart may be filled with 
love and gratitude to Him, for every mercy that 
I do enjoy. It hath been better than three 
months since I parted with the friend that I es- 
teem most dear ; and I long much to see him — 
but 1 must be patient, and strive to give my all 
to the Lord, and say, Not my will, but thine be 
done. 

March 14th. This day hath been a day of a 
good degree of peace and jay to my s&uL As I 
have been so long deprived of meeting with my 
brethren to praise God i O that I may give my 
soul and body as a living sacrifice to him day by 
day — and be prepared to meet my Saviour in 
the skies, with joy ana gladness. 

Through grace, I am determined 
To conquer, though I d ie V 

March 21st. I have reason to praise God for 
his tender mercy tome; that he hath given me 
a degree of health and strength — and feel a de- 
sire (o spend the remainder of my days in his 
service, and to his glory May the Lord bless 
me with an hungering and thirsting for all the 
mind that was in Christ, that I may be a com- 
fort to my companion, and a blessing to society 
aad be prepared for heaven and glory. 



Supplementary Reflections* 1Q9 

ft Come Lord from above, these mountains remove. 
O'erturn all that hinders the course of thy love.'* 

I long to be altogether thine. — The day is fast 
approaching when it would be of more impor- 
tance to have an interest at a throne of grace, 
than to be possessed of ail the riches in this low- 
er world! May God help me to realize the 
worth of time and the length of eternity — and im- 
prove my privileges accordingly ! 

March 21sfc. I feel to be in some degree 
thankful to God for the blessings that I do en- 
joy. May I improve them to the glory of my 
great Benefactor — and may the Lord reward my 
kind friends for their friendship to me. 

*' O that my God would count me meet, 
To wash his dear disciples* feet." 

I feel my heart prone to wander from the God 
that I desire to love ! O that the day may ar- 
rive when I shall love my God supremely- 
above everything e?se. 

April the 15th, 1813. I am this day out of 
eternity, but am not well — and know not how 
long I may be an inhabitant of this world! — 
That I may be in a state of readiness for death, 
when it shall come — for whether it be long or 
short, it will be the same king of terrors when it 
comes, if we are not prepared tor it. My heart 
and soul, long for full redemption, in the blood 
of Jesus, 

*f O that my tender soul might fly 

The least abhorr'd approach of ill : 
I Quick as the apple of an eye, 

The slightest touch of sin to feel." 



110 Supplementary Reflections. 

I hope the Lord may give me grace to be 
faithful; that whether my days are many or few, 
they may all be devoted to him, that when I am 
called to go I may have a convoy of angels to 
escort my happy soul to realms of glory. My 
conflicts are many here, but the hand of the Lord 
is strong. O that I may be enabled to put my 
trust in him in every trying hour. 

April 21st. I am this day a spared monu- 
ment of mercy that 1 am not cut otf as a 

cumbercr of the ground — O that my heart may 
be filled with real gratitude for the blessings I 
do enjoy — for kind friends in the day of adver- 
sity. 

I feel that I need daily supplies from the foun- 
tain that was opened in the house of king Da- 
vid for sin and uncleanness. For the enemy 
thrusts sore at me — and I often fear I shall come 
short at last I want the whole armour, and 
skill to use the weapons, that I may be more 
than conqueror through the strength of Jesus — 
that when my sun is setting, I may have a pros- 
pect of Canaan's happy land, and view by faith 
the celestial fruits of paradise, where joys im- 
mortal grow — pain shall be exchanged then for 
pleasure that never shall cease — where we may 
gaze on the face of our beloved without a dim- 
ning veil of mortality between. 

April 23th. I have reason to be thankful to 
God my great Preserver for the peace that I do 
feel in my soul this morning. Although my bo- 
dy is afflicted, yet I feel a degree of resignation j 
to the will of God — and hope that I may be pre- 



Supplementary Reflections. ill 

pared for whatever is the will of God concern^ 
ing me — whether life or death. , 

" Through grace I am determin'd 

To conquer though I die, 
And then away to Jesus 

On wings of love I'll fly 
And then my happy station 

In life's fair tree shall have ; 
Close by the throne of Jesus, 

Shut up with God above." 

O that I may consider that my days are as a 
shadow that passeth away. God grant that I 
may secure a lot among the blest, 

*' My suffering time will soon be o'er, 
Then shall 1 sigh and weep no more ; 
My ransom'd soul shall soar away, 
To sing God's praise in endless day." 

The road I have to travel is interspersed with 
joys and sorrows— and the only way to be happy 
is to receive the one with gratitude and the 
other with submission. O that I may have that 
true resignation to the will of heaven, that may 
enable me to rejoice evermore, arid pray without 
ceasing, and in every thing to give thanks — 
thank the Lord for the blessings that I do en- 
joy, and be patient under sufferings, knowing 
that it is good for me to be afflicted, that I may 
know my own weakness the better, and rely on- 
ly on the strength of him that is able to save all 
ail those that put their trust in his clemency 



112 Supplementary Reflections. 



and mercy ! May the Lord help me to live to 
his glory while on earth I stay. 

May Qth. 1313. I have reason to bless God 
that it is as well with me as it is ! Whether I 
shall ever enjoy health or not I do not know— 
and I would not he anxious concerning it : — but 
may I be prepared for whatever is the will of 
the Lord concerning me — whether life or death, 
health or sickness, prosperity or adversity. I 
feel a desire to see my Lorenzo once more in 
time : but if that is denied me, may I be enabled 
to say, The will of the Lord be done — and may 
we meet on Canaan's happy shore, w*here sorrow 
will be turned into joy — and all that's earthly in 
our souls will be done away, and in its place 
we shall have the nature of angels and saints. 

O what a happy company — 
When saints and angels j oin !" 

There will be no more anger nor strife — no 
more malice nor envyings, evil speaking, nor 
any thing that shall mar our happiness, or give 
us pain — but harmony and peace shall for ever 
abound ! May God help us to be faithful to 
him, and to the spirit of his grace. 

a How tedious and tasteless the hours 

When Jems no longer I see ; 
Sweet prospects — sweet birds — and sweet flbwVs 

Have all lost their sweetne ss to me. 
The midsummer sun shines but dim — 

The fields strive in vain to look gay , 



Supplementary Reflections* 118 

But when I am happy in him, 
December's as pleasant as May. 

" His name yields the richest perfume, 

And siveeter than music his voice ; 
His presence disperses my gloom, 

And makes all -withinmp rejoice 
I should, were he always thus nigh, 
Have nothing- to wish or to fear — 
No mortal so happy as I, 

My summer would last all the yearr 

O that I could always be enabled to put my 
trust in him in every time of trouble— and may 
the Lord prepare me for death and glory.— 

« There on a green and flowery mount 
Our weary souls shall sit ; 
And with transporting- joys recount 
The labours of our feet !" 

May 10th. I am in a lingering state of health, 
and whether ever I shall be able to be of any 
use to myself or others I know not— but I hope 
that I may be enabled to be resigned to the dis- 
posal of Providence, and say, Not my will but 
thine be done. It is a reality that we are born 
to die, and after death to come to judgment— and 
how ought we to live, that we may stand ac- 
quitted in that awful day, when Christ in glory 
shall appear to judge both the quick and the dead. 
O that I may have " my robes washed and 
made white in the blood of the Lamb, that 1 
may hear the welcome sentence, Come ye Dies- 
R 2 



ii* Supplementary Reflections. 

sed of my Father, inherit the kingdom prepar 
for you from the foundation of the world — 
happy day — when we shall be delivered from 
this body of clay, that clogs and weighs down 
the soul oftentimes, and makes us cry out with 
the apostle, Who shall deliver me from the body 
of this death ! 

How necessary it is, for us to watch and pray, 
that we enter not into temptation — but hold fast 
the confidence that we have in a bleeding Sa- 
viour. 

" No chilling* winds nor pois'nous breath 

Can reach that healthful shore ; 
Sickness and sorrow— pain and death, 

Are felt and fear'd no more. 
When shall I reach that happy places 

And be forever blest : 
When shall I see my Father's face, 

And in his bosom rest ! 

" Fill'd with delight my raptur'd soul 

Can here no longer stay ; 
Tho' Jordan's waves around me roll, 

Fearless I'd launch away : 
There on those high and floWry plains, 

Our spirits ne'er shall tire ; 
But in perpetual, joyful strains, 

Redeeming love admire. 

?! On Jordan's stormy banks I stand, 
And cast a wishful eye, 
To Canaan's fair and happy land 
Where my possessions, lie, 



Supplementary Hejlections. lib 

O the transporting happy scene 

That rises to my sight — 
Sweet fields array'd in living green, 

And rivers of delight. 

** The generous fruits that never fail, 

On trees immortal grow : 
There rocks and hills, and brooks and vales,, 

With milk and honey flow : 
All o'er those wide extended plains, 

Shines one eternal day ; 
There God the Son forever reigns, 

And scatters night away/* 

It is through the tender mercy of God, that I 
am alive and out of hell ! O that I may be re- 
newed in the spirit of my mind — may all the 
earthly dispositions of my heart be changed into 
heavenly, that I may be prepared to bid adieu to 
this world of sorrow, and find an habitation of 
rest, where the wicked cease from troubling, and 
the weary be at rest. My God help me to be 
faithful the few days that I have to spend on 
earth. My heart hath heen much sunk under a 
weight of sorrow — when I consider how far from 
God and heaven, and what I would be, I am t — 
Othat the cry of my soul may be, Dear Jesus* 
raise me higher — I long to be holt/, as Thou art 
holy. May the Lord help me to rely on his 
mercy and goodness for all that is to come — and 
say without reserve, " The will of tbe Lord be 
done." 

K 3 



i!6 Supplementary Reflections. 



<# O God, my help in ages past, 
My hope for years to eome : 
My shelter from the stormy blast, 
And my eternal home." 

Prepare me for that happy day, when all the 
saints get home — and sit down at the right hand 
of God — where we shall be freed from all the 
toils and troubles of life, and ha ve pleasure With* 
out end— where trouble and anguish cannot en* 
ter, but all shall be harmony and peace ! 

O what a glorious company. 
When saints and angels meet i"— 

in robes of white artayed-^-when Christ shall 
wipe all tears from our eyes, and we shall be ad«» 
mitted to sit down with Abraham, Isaac, and 
Jacob, and all the saints that have gone through 
much tribulation, and washed their robes, and 
made them white in the blood of the Lamb.-* 
May my heart and life be conformed to the gos- 
pel, that I may be a comfort to my companion, 
and a blessing to society 

*' And may my run in smiles decline*** 
And bring a pleasing night." 

The men that love the Lord are happy in this 
World and in the next ! O may that be my hap- 
py lot— may the Lord help me to tear every idol 
from my heart, and may he reign without a ri- 
val there. I feel my heart's desire is, to love 
the Lord with my whole keart — 



Supplementary Reflections. 117 

"-This is a world oftrouble and grief I plainly see; 
But when in deepest sorrow, O God, I look to Thee ! 
Thou deliver'dst Daniel, when in the lions' den — 
And if thou didst protect him, O why not other men !" 

Help me to pray without ceasing, and in eve- 
thing give thanks ? May my soul's concern and 
only care, be, to secure a lot among the blest— 
that when my days are ended on earth, I may 
receive an inheritance that can never be taken 
from me ! May God preserve my companion 
while absent. 

In my days of childhood, the Providence of 
God wag over me to preserve me from evil 
although I lost my mother, one of the most in- 
valuable blessings that a child can be deprived 
of, particularly a female. Yet the Lord was my 
friend, and brought me up to the years of matu- 
rity, with a mind as little tainted with the evil 
practices that are prevalent among young peo- 
ple, as most. My sister was very careful to 
teach me the way of rectitude in my earliest 
days, which was of great benefit to me in my 
journey through life. And I doubt not, if moth- 
ers would begin with their children when they 
are young, they might mould them into almost 
any frame they chose. But instead of paying 
that attention to their morals while their minds 
are young, and susceptible of good impressions, 
as they ought ; they suffer them to mix with 
those that are wicked to a proverb; thinking 
there is no danger 1 — they are too young to be in- 
jured by any bad example or precept. But they 
find, when it is too late, that their minds are toe 



US Supplementary Reflections. 

easily impressed with evil; and habits, which 
are imbibed in childhood, are not so easily erad- 
icated: and through their neglect, many that 
might be shining characters in society, a bles- 
sing to the age that they live in, they are but a 
nuisance to mankind, and are rearing up another 
set to walk in their tracks. Thus the world is 
contaminated by the mismanagement oi mothers! 
My heart has often been pained, to see the dear 
little innocents suffered to run at randon ; and 
taught nothing that would be of service to them, 
either in this world, or in the next ! May the 
Lord open the eyes of those that have the care 
of children, to see the importance of their 
charge ; and enable them to do their duty — that 
the rising generation may be more obedient to 
their parents, more attentive to the duty they 
owe their God — then they will be a greater 
blessing to society, and will be better qualified 
to fill up that sphere in life which they may be 
called to — and above all, be prepared for those 
happy regions, where all will be harmony and 
peace I 

After my marriage, leaving the place where 
I had lived from my early days, I was placed in 
quite a different sphere of life. Unacquainted 
with the variety of manners and dispositions of 
mankind, I thought that all who professed friend- 
ship were friends : but I have found myself mis- 
taken in many instances. Some that at one time 
would appear like as if there was nothing too 
good that they could do for one, at another time 
were so cool and distant, that one would be rea- 
dy to conclude they could not be the same peo« 



Supplementary Reflections. 119 



pie ! These constant changes have, in some 
measure, taught me this lesson, that we are frail 
mortals, liable to change ; and there is but one 
source that is permanent. — There we may place 
implicit confidence ; and we will not be deceived. 

I have abundant cause to be thankful to my 
great Benefactor, for the continued favours bes- 
towed me — and for many kind friends who have 
administered to my necessities in the time of ad- 
versity : may the great Master reward them 
richly in this world, and in that which is to 
come, eternal life and glory ! It is said to be 
more blessed to give than receive — therefore 
those that have it in their power to do good lo 
the needy sons and daughters of affliction, and 
follow the dictates of chanty, will have a double 
reward : they will feel a sweet peace in their 
own souls while they are travelling through this 
unfriendly world, and when they come to bid 
adieu to all things below the sun, they will have 
a glorious prospect of a happy entrance into the 
blest abode of saints and angel3 ! 

O may my lot be cast with these, 
The least of Jesu's witnesses. 

on earth — and at last be joined to that happy 
company above the skies ? 

What need there is to watch and p*ay, and 
guard against the vain allurements of this world ; 
to steer our course between the rocks on either 
hand, that we may gain the destined port of 
eternal repose in the bosom of our once crucified^ 
hut now risen and exalted Saviour. 



110 Supplementary Reflections* 



Our hearts are too often fixed on the vain and 
transient things of time and sense, while the im- 
portant concerns of eternal happiness or misery 
are almost, i( not quite neslected ! We are leav- 
ing nothing undone that we can accomplish to 
lay up treasure on earth, which will perish in 
the using — while the immortal part, that will 
have an existence as long as its author exists, 
lieth in ruins ! O what madness ! This poor 
body, what is it, but a dying lump of clay ! that 
must in a few revolving days be consigned to the 
dust from whence it was taken ! What will it 
avail us then — whether we were rich or poor, 
noble or ignoble. The main point wiil then be 
whether we have spent our time in the service 
cf God, or have devoted it to the pleasures and 
vanities of the world — to please ourselves, in- 
stead of obeying the calis of the gospel, and 
taking up the cross ! O that these things may 
lay with serious weight on our minds, that we 
may make sure work for eternity, and spend no 
time unprofitably, but husband it to the best ad- 
vantage. 

The various scenes of life make such an im- 
pression on our minds, that we are often brought 
into such perplexities, that we hardly know 
which way to turn : but if we could always live 
in the enjoyment of that Faith, which it is our 
privilege to possess, we should never he at a loss. 
I have passed through many trying situations in 
Europe and America— but the Lord hath been 
my helper thus far, through all the licissiiudes at- 
tending the journey of life! And I hope, 
one day to outstrip the wind, beyond the founds 



Supplementary Reflections. IM 

of time — where there will be no more uncertain^ 
ty or disappointment — where peace and harmo- 
ny shall forever abound : — after all our troubles 
here how sweet and consoling rest will be ! — 
May the Lord help me to live near to the bleed- 
ing side of a crucified Redeemer — willing to take 
up my cross and follow him where he may lead, 
if it is to go through fire or water. These are 
trying times— the love of many are waxing cold. 
How soon we may be called to a fresh trial of 
our faith, we cannot tell : — may we stand firm, 
knowing that all shall work together for good to 
those that lave GOD. 



122 Supplementary Reflections, i 



THE MORNING VISION, 

OR PHILOSOPHER CONVERTED. 

I WALK'D forth one morning fair, 
Aurora gently fann'd the air ; 
And scatter'd odours in the breeze, 
From dropping gums and blooming tree?. 

The hills and vallies did abound 
With feather'd songsters all around ; 
Their various artless notes did ring, 
To welcome in the cheerful spring. 

The earth was cloth'd in vernal hue, 
And flow'rs sprink'd with morning new ; 
All nature smiling to behold 
The rising sun with beams of gold. 

r ,_..' . * -;' ;' ' '-• j^-a-'SaK' * 

Surveying nature's drama round, 
The scene with wonders did abound. 
Meanwhile my lab'ring eyes were charm t! ? 
An inward voice my soul alarm'd. 

" Could you all nature comprehend, 
u You'd better learn to know thy end ; 
" Those beauties which you now survey, 
" Shall, like thyself, soon fade away. 

u But death alone is not your doom, 
tc You surely must to judgment come ; 
" How will you stand before the Lord, 
" When he unsheaths his naming sword. 

c< When hills and mountains all are fled, 
k< Where will you hide your guilty head; 



Supplementary Reflections. 123 

• ; O wretched man where will you rove ? 
" YouVe slighted a Redeemer's love." 

Black horror seiz'd my guilty heart, 
Thro' ev'ry vein 1 felt the smart ; , 
I fell, and almost lost my breath, 
And thought I soon should sink in death. 

The little birds from spray to spray. 
Were hymning praises all the day. 
In artless anthems to their God, 
But I despis'd a Saviour's blood. 

If I had dy'd when I w as young, 
I now should with mine infant tongut* 
Be praising of my God on high, 
But here in gui! ty chains I lie. 

Thus trembling o'er the gulph I lay, 
But dare not move my lips to pray ; 
I thought I was for ever curs'd, 
My guilty heart was fit to burst. 

My scarlet crimes did now appear, 
Which sunk my soul in black despair 
My dreadful pains no tongue can tell* 
I thought I felt the flame3 of hell. 

I thought I saw the burning lake , 
My frighted soul began to quake 
I cry'd aloud, Lord must I go, 
To languish in eternal woe. 

I heard a noise like thunder roll, 
Which did affright my guilty soul : 
I thought the dreadful day w as com*. 
That I should hear my final doom* 



184 Supplementary Reflections, 



To my amazement and surprise, 
I saw a tjloud descend the skies, 
And on the cloud appeared One, 
Who fairer was than chrystal stone. 

His curling locks were snowy white, 
His garments were exceeding bright; 
The sun look'd dim before his face, 
His feet were like the burning brass. 

He spake, and lightnings streamed around. 
He says, " I have a ransom found ; 
" I bought your ransom on the tree, 
(c And came to set your spirit free." 

My heart rebounded like a roe, 
And glory through my soul did flow ; 
My sins we ie gone, and I was free, 
And knew my Saviour dy'd for me. 

I leap'd and shouted out aloud, 
And longs for wings to reach the cloud ; 
To catch my Saviour in my arms, 
And gaze forever on his charms. 

Meanwhile I thus rejoicing stood, 
He like a flaming cherub rode : 
To heaven again he took his flight. 
And quickly vanished out of sight, 

But still I felt the heavenly flame, 
Ami sung aloud in Jesu's name. 
I felt the all-atoning blood, 
And knew that 1 was born of God- 



FINIS. 



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